My last day

I can't believe it!!! This is my last day in koh samui!!! I cant' believe the days has passed so fast!!! And guess how i spent my last day? Lazing by the beach... AGAIN! Not liek it's such a surpise! And i didn't even get to go into the water. Coz it's that time of the month. How boring. But anyway, it's my last day here... and i dont' know what to do to spend the time. Dont' feel like drinking... so there's nothing else left here to do! Don't wanna buy antying too. Nothign of interest to get.

Sigh... how am i going to adjust to work again? Boring! ANyway, Annie's waiting for me to go do something... so the next time i post something, it'd be from boring ole malaysia!

Koh Samui (pt3)

What a day i had! Took a 2 hour boat trip out to the sea, canoed (pretty well too i must say), snorkelled... what more could i have asked for? Except maybe i was expecting too much on the snorkelling bit. I actually thought i would be able to see stuff like the Finding Nemo kind. Hehehe.... needless to say i was disappointed. I mean, there were fish here and there but it wasn't really colourful and the water wasn't all that clear... and i couldn't really breathe throughthe fucking mouthpiece - water just kept entering my mouth - so... maybe the snorkelling bit wasn't that great after all :) But the canoing was way fun. First we had to canoe from the boat to this little beach so that we could hike up a few hundred meters to see this lake in the middle of the island. The hike up was pretty cool and the view of the lake was breath taking! Then after that, canoe back to the boat, have lunch then canoe around these rock islands. Way cool. Fucking cool. And i must say, i got the hang of canoing pretty fast. :) Now my arms feel pretty tired. And.... i'm feeling sunburnt for the first time in my entire life! Imagine that! And it hurts. Stings actually. And i've got a magnificent tan line. Hehehe.. now i know why all the ang mohs will sunbathe topless. Hmm... maybe i should do that too :)

Well, tomorrow's my last day here in this island. Can't imagine how i'm going to adjust to working again after days and days of just lazing aorund. But one good reason to go back is that i'll be abel to see my darling again. Never realized i could miss him so much. Walking around this place, experiencing this place makes me wanna be with him. Wanna enjoy this place with him. Just laze around and play in the water with him. Sigh... nothing like going on a holiday with a loved one. Memories of my last two days in SA comes to mind... :)

Oh yeah, did some research on tattoos and found that i won't be abel to get one here. Coz it takes about a week to heal and i'll be leavin gon monday menaing i won't be able to carry my back pack and shit like that. And it'd be a real hassle since i'll be travelling for the whole day. Don't wanna risk infections. So there goes my plan of returning home with a tattoo. :( Damn. WAs really looking forward to getting one too. Had my design all picked out and all.

Since tomorrows my last day, gonna make the most of it. Waking up early to hae breakfast. Then going to the beach again. :) I mean, that IS what the whole is about. The beach, sun, wind and surf. Just better slap on the sunblock!!!

Koh Samui (pt 2)

The ride to hadyai wasn't that bad. Probably coz we were all sleeping for most of the journey. The second leg from hadyai to suratthanni was a bit of a nightmare though. The mini bus (van) was so bumpy (prob coz Thai roads aint' thaat good) but i managed to get some shut eye anyway :) When we got to suratthani we had to wait for about an hour before we changed to a big bus (thank goodness) to head off to the pier where we were gonna board a ferry to the island. The bus was really confortable but it seemed to take a really long time to reach the dang pier! Took us about one and the half hours! But finally we reached the pier and boarded the ferry just in time as it started raining. The ferry was shaking about so much, i thought it might actually capsize! But we arrived on the island safely and boy, did i feel relieved! It had been one heck of a long day travelling but we finally reached the island! NExt was trying to find a place to stay. WEnt to several places but finally chose one that costs us RM20 each per night. Not too bad. Tried to bargain but unsuccessful. Damn. But anyway, we were so sticky and tired we just took it and had a shower.

It's been 2 days on the island now. And those 2 days have just been spent lazing on the beach doing absolutely nothing. Can u believe it? 2 whole days doing nothing? But at least we went to 2 different beaches. So we CAN say that we explored the island a little...hehehe I never thought I could spend so much time in one place doing nothing excpet reading and people watching. Amazing. And the best part is, when we get back, we'd be feeling damn tired. Hehehe... feeling tired after a whole day of lazing?

This place is just crawlin with babes. And i mean babes. Fucking chun babes everywhere you turn around. Talk about having an inferiority complex! Everyone at the beach will be wearing bikinis and here i am walking around in my stupid speedo one piece suit. Hehehe... And.. u can hardly find other Asian tourists around here. Imagine, we're in an Asian country wherewe feel like the minority. I mean, what the f***? But this place is beautiful and the atmosphere is just so relaxing. It's just great.

Will be going snorkelling tomorrow. ANd..thinking of getting a tattoo. HEeheheh... it'd be fucking cool man! Already found a design that i like that's not too sissy :) And it's not too expensive either. Will probably cost me around RM120 to get it done. I think it's worth it. Will have to ponder a bit even though i'm really tempted!!!

Sigh.. trying to imagine how it'd be like if i had a tattoo...

Koh Samui

Hey hey.. i'm finally here!!!! Finally reached the island after a whole day of travelling in 3 different vehicles!!!! Let me start at the beginning...

Firstly, we started off at 4.45 am coz we were supposed to be there by that time. But when mum drove us there... it was totally empty and there was nothing and no one around. So we rushed to another place where we thought could be the meeting point but it was deserted as well. So we left Annie at KOMTAR and drove to the ferry point, saw a van with Thai plates and started chasing after it but lost it coz of a traffic light. Anyway, then annie called us and said there was a van there but the driver didn't know how to speak english or malay. So rushed back there and lo and behold.. it was our van. But the van was already packed with ppl AND bags so my bag had to be squashed in with us in front and Annie's was just dumped somewhere with the other ppl in the back seat. And finally... we were off to had yai (the first leg of our journey)

To be continued....

changing plans

Why does something always have to happen when plans have already been made? Why must something always pop up? All this while when we talking about our plans to go thailand i somehow had this nagging feeling that something was going to come up and somehow spoil our plans. And i was right! That feeling was not uncalled for! Sigh... anyway, the number of ppl for our trip has now dwindled to a mere 3. It's now me, annie and mac. At least i think it is. Problem now is, i'd have to leave koh samui alone and travel the 12 hours back alone in a van. I just hope it's safe and not dodgy. Actually, i'm not really sure if the plans are still on! What a waste of my leave if they're not! Could have taken them some other time then. Sigh... and sigh again... i was really excited about this trip and this is what happens. Furthermore i went around hunting for transport deals today, getting all excited and suddenly a pin had to burst my balloon. Damn.

On another note, i'm writing this blog from back home. It's been four months since i last came back and it feels nice to be back in the house where i grew up. Didn't realize how much i had missed home till i got back. Nothing like the saying ' Home Sweet Home'. I realize now that coming back doesn't mean going out with your friends or even with your family. It just means settling your ass back on the bed where you've slept on for 17 years and just chilling out - watching tv, reading a book etc. I guess ppl who go back home often don't realize how lucky they are. I miss my house. Not necessarily the ppl in the house (of coz i miss my family too) but the house itself. The familiar nooks and crannies. The untidiness. The couch potato feeling of settling onto the sofa with the remote control in my hand and a bag of chips next to me. It's just great to be back in my house.

Home is where the heart is...

Shit... thought about our holiday plans again.. damn fucked up... oh well... like annie said, even if it's only me and her... two hot women at the beach with white men... what more can i ask for? :)

blissful holidays

Talked with my roomies about our holiday plans last night. And we finally came up with the decision to go to Thailand. At least i THINK that was the final decision. I wanna go to Koh Sa Mui but i wanna go to Redang too. Annie's more in favour of thailand coz she's got loads of time in her hands and can afford to spend the time travelling and just going where the wind blows her. If only i had that luxury too. As we were talking, i told them of my plan to just take a year off and travel. To have no permanent address, no permanent job. Just staying in inns, working as a waitress in some fast food joint to get some money, and then taking off again once i've seen all of the place i'm in. The more we talked, the more i wanted to make this plan work. To work now and save money and then saying goodbye to malaysia and hello to some other country. Actually talked about doing a trans-siberian route to europe. How cool would that be? Just travel from malaysia to thailand then go north to India, then china, then russia, then turkey and finally east europe then the west. Just imagine the places i'd get to see and the people i'd get to meet. The sights, the sounds, the tastes... sounds like a perfect holiday. Just roughing it out.

I don't know when i started getting this urges to travel. I think it's because i've joined voices and travelled to so many countries with them. The 'want' to see new places has been planted there since phillipines i think. I try and think back to the past adn i can't remember ever having these plans to travel all over. I've never been the adventurous type to venture out alone and do stuff. But ever since voices, well, all i can say is that i'm a changed person. Now i just want to do and see everything! I mean, c'mon.. we only live once right? Right now, all i need is the dough.

Ed and i have plans to save money from now to travel to europe together. I hope that works out too :) The plan is to save money till he graduates, which would be in 2005, and then fly off to France, the first destination. His french speaking skills should be of help there :) And if we're still together, i'm going to make sure we go!

To be able to travel and just experience... bliss... to just live life one day at a time... heaven...

Family ties

Went to meet my parents at the airport. Realized that even though i haven't seen them for quite some time now, i didnt' have much to say to them. And now i'm wondering why. I'm wonderng why am i not close to my parents? Why do i not talk to my parents like some of my other friends do? Why is my mum not my best friend? And even though i DO miss them, when i actually met them, i felt nothing. No joy, no sadness... just nothing. I don't want to be the type of person to take my family for granted and then later regret it when my parents pass on. And i know that they will pass on someday and i dont' want to turn back and say "If only i had taken the effort to know them better and gotten closer to them". I watch all those shows where the daughter and mother are as close as two peas in a pod and i envy them. And it's just not in tv shows. Some of my friends are really close to their mothers that they even tell them their relationship problems. And me? I hardly talk to my mum. Even when i talk to her, it's just about everyday things. I know that i love my parents but why can't i talk to them? And sometimes i think issit all my fault? Why can't they talk to me either? Do i always have to make that effort? I know it's wrong to expect them to make the effort all the time but i can't do it all the time can i? Or maybe i can. And i should. I dont' know.

Sometimes, it's not that i dont' wanna talk to mum. Just that when i start a topic, she'll irritate the hair outta me. For example, when i tell her bout the relationship i'm in right now, she'll just tell me not to rush things, that i dont' have to look for a boyfriend at such a young age etc I know she means well, but it's not that she wants me to take it easy. It's the fact that i'm not with Kiley anymore and she just can't accept that even though it's been like 7 god damned months! And she tells me to tell him not to rush to look for a girlfriend either. I mean, what am i suppose to say to that? And when i tell her that i'm happy now and he's still my friend, she just chooses to ignore that. How can i not get irritated and just stop talking and clam up? Like i said, it's not that i dont' wanna talk to her. But she just makes it so difficult for me sometimes. Another scenario: I tell her about my job. Does she ask me how i feel bout the job? Does she ask me how i'm coping or adapting to the new lifestyle? NO! She just asks " So not planning to study anymore?" Just because she wants me to do my masters and i'm not doesn't mean that she should totally disregard my life now. Just because i'm not doing what she wanted me to do. No questions about how i'm doing. None whatsoever. What am i supposed to talk to her about then? What am i suppose to do then?

I get really irritated when all that happens. So i snap at her or i just nod and keep quiet. And then i'd feel awful about the way i treated her or that i didn't make a good enough effort to talk to her. And so the next time, i try calling her and the whole cycle starts again. I just dont' knwo what to do. Like i said before, i love my mum but i just don't know what to do. I want to be able to communicate with her but it just doens't seem to be working. Can somebody please tell me why mums are like this? Or issit just mine? I really don't know. Feel like i'm at my wit's end.

Maybe it's the fact that i never really told her my problems when i was young. Never really opened up to her. Always kept everything bottled up inside. Maybe it's because i'm the type of person to not really talk about myself unless i'm really really comfortable with a person. But shouldn't i feel comfortable with my parents? I mean, they're my family and who else am i supposed to turn to when all else fails? Maybe it's a problem with me.

Fuck... this really sucks.. big time. I just want to be close to my family.

Oh hail the great weekend

I just love weekends. I love the feeling waking up and then having nothing to do. The fact that i don't have to rush for anyone, do anything for anyone. I can just wake up whenever i want to and then just take the day as it comes. No plans. Just spontanous actions. Just like how i woke up this morning and decided to go shopping. And i don't even have to plan with anyone. I'm going alone. That way, i can see the stuff i want to, don't have to rush coz that person might be bored, and i can just wander around as i please. I mean it's nice being with people but sometimes, you just wanna be alone. And this is just one of those days. And what better time to be alone when my dear's gone off to JB? :)

Fuck it's gonna rain soon. Getting my ass off this chair and going shopping.

Nostalgia

Just read my last post... and i've attributed it to PMS :)

Anyway, have started the second phase of my moving out of the hostel room. Moved my fan and a few other things this morning. Felt really really sad when i drove out of campus. Nostalgia setting in i guess. Even the night before when annie and farrah and i were talking about our trip, the feeling was just so bittersweet coz i knew it would be the last time hanging out with them. The last time that we would be all together. I mean, i'm sure we'd still be friends in the future but we'll all be going our seperate ways. Like, they'll be off to cambodia and i'll be here. Sigh... all a part of growing up i guess. I'm really going to miss these guys. The people i knew since voices. They've been a great bunch. Went for satay kajang with some of the dudes just now and we started telling farah and syakri bout our trips overseas and what we did. Reminiscing. Adn laughing over our stupidity. All those memories are just printed in my head. I can even remember exact scenes, just like photos except that these 'photos' will be with me forever. Or at least till i die or get alzheimers. :) But anyway, the point is that i'm leaving. Saying goodbye.

Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can i sail through the changing ocean tide?
Can i handle the seasons of my life?

Well, i've been afraid of changing
Coz i've built my life around you
And i'm getting older too

Nothing like listening to landslide by dixie chicks right now.

And thinking bout all the good times i had with all of them. The first trip to phillipines. Then thailand, australia and finally, cape town. All those times i made a fool out of myself and they were there to rescue me, laugh at me, and then tell everyone else :) All i feel like doing right now is sigh...

And memories past fill my head...

Loneliness and despondency

Feeling really depressed right now. Sometimes, i just feel that i'm all alone in this world. That i have no friends and no one gives two fucks about me and what i'm doing. That i have no one i can count on. No one i can turn to. Alone. Fuck. I hate this feeling. And i dont' know why i'm feeling this way right now. Fuck everything.

Dependent dependency

Ever had the feeling that you're getting so used to the thought of having a person around that you start depending on him for everything? Like you just expect him to be there all the time and do stuff for you and with you? Well, I used to think that way with my ex and now i'm going through the same thing with my current boyfriend. Why do i always end up being dependent on people? And it's just not relationships i'm talking about. I get dependent on friends too. BUt i think i'm learning. I used to be worse. I used to be the type who couldn't go out shopping alone or eat alone. Now, i don't mind shopping by myself. I find it more enjoyable. I don't have to worry bout the people with me getting bored. I can wander for as long as i like and do whatever i want. But still.. this dependency on the guy i'm with.. hmm.. somethign to really think about and change. I mean, nothing's certain and i can't expect us to be together forever. Anything can happen. And i'll just find it harder to adapt if we don't end up together one day. Sigh...

Switching topics, just found out that Annu applied for a PE job in HSBC. Was pretty surprised when i heard that. I mean, it just doesn't sound like something for her to do. Wonder why she applied for it. Probably the same reason why i did. Had no direction in life and so just decided to try what comes along. I seriously didnt know what i was doing when i applied for this job. Partly because i had to work on the australs and had to be around cyber. Partly because i didnt' want to go back to penang and leave my relationship behind (who am i kidding? if i had gone back to penang, i wouldn't be with him any longer). But no regrets... so far :)

But what i really wanna do is travel i guess. Just take a year off, and go where the wind blows me. Angie gave me a nice idea the other day. She said what if i saved enough money to go holidaying for about 2 weeks then after that just work in whichever country i'm in. Like if i end up in London, then just work as a waitress or something to earn enough money to get me to the next country. Just do the same thing for a whole year. Have no permanent address. Just live life one day at a time. Just have enough money to survive moderately. I mean, i don't wanna stay in a dodgy place but at least somewhere decent... like the inn we stayed in Cape Town. Wouldn't that be wonderful? The thought of writing in this blog from an internet cafe in one country and then another the next few days. The thought of emailing my friends and telling them that i'm sitting outside the Eiffel Tower right now while writing. And then the next mail a few days later would be telling them that i'm standing on the spot where the Berlin wall was. Pretty cool, huh? And the best part of this dream is... i can actually make it happen. I mean it's not something impossible to do. If i plan and work at it hard enough... and also if i manage to convince my parents. I know what their reaction's gonna be... "Siau ah?" Literal translation, meaning "you crazy?" But it's possible... it's possible...

Possible...

Quite ok

Well, since the last post, nothing much has changed in my life. Still the same old questions running around in my head and trying to chase some non existent answer. Time for me to push them back and wait till another day when they'll pop back up again and i will still have no answer. :) Life's such a bitch somtimes. If only we had some sort of vending machine to give us the answers we want. If only there was some fast forward button in life where we can forward through the difficult parts of life. Or a rewind button where we can relive happy, wonderful moments over and over again. Or if only life is some buffet line where we can just eat and eat our way through. Sigh.. oh well...

On another note, went to clean up my room on Sunday. I have never worked so hard in my entire life cleaning up a room. I mopped, swept, scrubbed, wiped etc... and now paying the price by having sore arms. But at least my room's clean now :) Kinda dreading the moving... i mean i wanna have my own room but the thought of shifting all my stuff over is just causing me a headache. And of coz the 'no more 24 hour internet access' is definitely a minus. AFter having it for so long... sigh... been relying on it for almost everything! Reading the daily news, checking movie listings, even the fucking weather report! Aw man... being too dependent on technology and then doing away with it, sucks ass, as the kids in South Park would say. :)

Been watching a lot.. and i mean a lot.. of south park. Have watched the whole 6 and a half seasons. SP is one elite show. For a cartoon, the animation sucks but the storyline and the dialogue just rocks! They just diss everythign and make everything seem so cool :) But it's not for everyone. Tried introducing it to my roomies but they didnt' seem to be interested.. oh well... But man.. that show just rocks!!! And for those of you who think it's tasteless and disgusting, as Cartman would say "Screw you guys.. I'm going home"

Birthdays and gifts

Someone just asked me what i wanted for my birthday. And that question suddenly sparked a whole series of thoughts and questions in my head. What is it with material gifts that make people happy? Was just thinking and i realized that i dont' need all this shit to be happy. Gifts and things are like that are really superficial and dont' really mean anything. The things that matter the most are things that money can't buy. And sometimes i wonder why do i want to waste my time chasing after material things when everything that i could possible need to be happy is already in my grasp. Unfortunately most of the time, i don't realize all this and i think that i need money and more money to be happy. That i need to get a nice house, a nice car, nice furniture, nice tech stuff etc to be happy. To enjoy life. At times, i ask myself, do i really need all those things? Or issit just that i'm falling into the trap of wanting to belong to society? To conform to societal needs and wants. I mean, do i really want a life surrounded by superficial things and the only entertainment would be to go shopping and watch a movie? What happened to my dreams of traveling? What happened to my dreams of tasting exotic foodand staying in dodgy inns? What happened to my dreams of visiting new countries and meeting new people? What happened to my dreams of being a travelling reporter and trying to change the world? And what am i doing now? Stuck in a job just because i need the money to buy the stuff which i think i need. Shit...
What do i want with my life? What do i want?

I want to be happy.
I want to be different.
I want to make a statement.

Here's the hard part. How do i achieve those things? How can i be different? How can i make a statement? How can i be happy? How how how? Fuck, i dont' want to be stuck doing something for a decade or two, get sucked into marriage and kids then suddenly wake up when i'm 50 and realize that i'm unhappy. That i'm bored. That i need to do something more meaningful with my life. (I know this is some sort of a contradiction with my previous blog but doing some serious soul searching right now. )

But then again, what IS happiness? Issit just some sort of illusion put forth into our minds that we need to be happy to exist? Being happy is so different for different people. Different people have different standards of happiness. Different degrees of happiness.

Need to do some serious soul searching. Need to ask myself some serious questions. What do i really want? Think about myself for once. Think about what i want and not what everyone else expects of me. Not what if my actions will affect my relationship with my family and my darling.

Just gotta think...

It's a saturday!!! Not that i don't like work.. but saturday means i get to chill and just hang out. ;) A colleague just came back from Swansea a few days ago, so last night after work, a whole bunch of us drove to Hartamas to party and celebrate his return. Wanted to go to Bar Med, but the place was just freakingly overcrowded until people were spilling onto the road! So, we headed to Finnigan's instead. There was no music, coz it was more like a pub kinda place. So just sat and drank and drank and drank... :) We managed to consume 4 bottles of Jack Daniels. Everyone was pretty high... especially yours truly...hehehe... Getting high in front of my workmates for the first time. Furthermore, one of our induction class trainers came along too and she was pissed drunk man!!! She was just spouting vulgarities left, right and center! And telling us stories of her b'day where she got pissed drunk as well. Hehehe... Also, managed to find out a lot of things bout work and office politics. All in all, just don't get involved in it. And if you're unhappy about anything, don't tell anyone coz you never know when the person might backstab you. And five of us from my process were just sitting down and talking and i kinda told them about agnes. And they told me that it's probably jealousy that's making them say that and the fact that her trainer is ramesh whom they already dont' like. Sigh.. anyway, we kinda made a pact among the five of us and agnes that we'll stick to each other and back each other up no matter what. I mean, we're all in the same boat, no point back stabbing and bitching bout your colleagues. Sigh.. all this politics... don't know how i'm gonna survive out there... with me being so blur most of the time. Wouldn't even know it if someone was backstabbing me. Time for me to be more observant and keep my eyes and ears wide open.

On a happier note (also work related), my work was error free for one whole week!!! Quite an achievement considering CARM is forever changing and opinions differ from India to UK to M'sia. And... my name got mentioned by Mark Seymour during the 'clapping' session. So quite proud la.. even though must play being modest and all.. but inside..hehehe... personal glory!

Went shopping today for some new house stuff. Moving to SK this month already. Will be shifting my stuff over tomorrow. Bought new bedsheets, a rug, towel etc.. Can't wait to be filthy rich, own a really nice house or condo, so that i can start buying stuff for it. Just love shopping for house stuff. Bought a few clothes as well. 3 tops to be exact. Forgot to buy the black skirt that i wanted. KLCC was freaking packed! Pretty hard to move around. Sometimes wish that i was so rich that i don't have to worry bout the prices of things so that i dont' have to crowd with other people during sale times. Oh well... hopefully that time will come soon enough!

Met Janice at KLCC. She's doing her masters in finance in MIM - Malaysian Institute of Management. It's a part-time masters so she'll be looking for a job. When i heard that, i started thinking whether i should be doing a masters now itself or not. I mean, i started thinking about the time when i was so sure that i was going to do my masters abroad and get a job abroad as well. But now, my values seemed to have changed. And i don't know if it's because of the relationship that i'm in right now. That i opted to stay and get a job here is because of him. Or is it because i really want to work here for at least 2 years before continuing with an MBA? I mean, that's what i tell people... but i'm not really sure if that's what i really want. Sigh... now i'm feeling really confused and messed up. I mean, if i take a masters in finance or something like that, then i would have to work in some financial shit. And do i really want that? Coz i dont' think i have the knack for it. I think i'm more cut out for some administrative job or something like that. Partially why i'm opting for an MBA as well. Sigh... i really don't know... if only someone had all the answers in life for me. Like i could just ask "What should i do now?" and i would get my answer immediately. Even Farrah and Annie going to Cambodia to volounteer work for the people there made me confused for a while too. I started thinking if i should join them etc.. but luckily i came to my senses and realized that kind of stuff just ain't for me. It was the thought of working for the UN that made it appealing. I wonder how a person gets an administrative job with the UN... hehehe... :)

Guess i'd have to sort out myself soon enough. Whether to stay and continue on with my job and study later... or screw the job and study now. Somehow, i think i'll procrastinate till it's too late and i'll just end up with the former. Procrastination's such an evil disease...

Hey hey... a place for me to vent all my feelings and frustrations... in actual truth, i created this blog like years ago but i just started getting lazy and procrastinating and then totally forgot about this place until just recently. sigh.. procrastination.. the evil of all evils... i've become a slave of procrastination. Have been putting off things to do day after day.. somebody slap me please!!!
Feeling pretty contented with my life right now... got a job, a place to stay, good friends and of coz someone to love and to love me in return. What more could one ask for at this stage in time?
I've been working for about 2 months plus, and i've realized just how diverse people can be. And also how looks can be so deceiving. A person who looks innocent and quite can turn out to be the nastiest person ever and you wouldn't want to get on her bad side. The things that spills out from the person's mouth really makes you think twice about judging a book by its cover! But i've been discovering a lot at my workplace and it feels funny somehow to be breaking away from the friends you knew at uni and to make new friends at work. My friends from uni who are working at the same place with me are probably going through the same thing. And i think we're fitting in pretty well. Except for one. Not gonna mention any names but it seems that she didn't make quite a good impression on some of her colleagues. Heard it through the grapevine that a number of people don't quite like her. Trying to see and hear for myself if it's true but i guess people won't tell me coz i'm her friend and they probably don't want me to know. But besides that, i'm enjoying work...the place, the people, the work i actually do... all in all.. feeling pretty good about myself right now.
Even though i like work and all.. it's really hard to breaking away from the friends that i've got in uni right now. After graduation, i was feeling really lost. There was no aim in life... felt like just floating aimlessly. thank goodness for the australs. The largest 3-on-3 debating championship ever! Working in the australs committee has also made me realized shit loads of stuff:

1) If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.
2) No point relying on others to help you even though they've said they would.
3) Not to put too much trust on someone that they will complete the tasks assigned to them.
4) Top people in the committee are mostly all talk but no action.
5) People take credit for things that they don't do and leave out those who actually worked.
6) It takes a really good leader to control the committee and to make sure everyone communicates... something we didn't really have.

And the list goes on and on... but even though i'm bitching a lot about the whole thing, i also had shitloads of fun. And it felt really good to have the participants coming up to you and saying that the MMU australs is a blast and the whole thing's really smooth and they're having fun. Nothing like good feedback from the people who matters - the participants.
It was really hard saying goodbye on the last night.. because for me, it meant finally saying goodbye to uni life and voices and all the fun that comes with it. I mean of coz we'd all still be friends.. but no more debating tournaments to go to... no more hanging out with the voices kids till late at night and just talking crap... sigh... all part of growing up i guess. Time to break away. Now i understand why people like Praba and Omar are still hanging around after so long... it just feels extremely hard to say goodbye and realise that there will be no more of all this.
Sigh, what can i say? I've had real good times with voices and i'm really glad that i joined. My life has really changed since then. From Phillipines right up to South Africa. And all the local tournaments and evil rybena. Time to say good bye and move along with my life.

Well, time to put the new phase of my life into first gear, and make sure i'm at the pole position of this mad race called life!