Temptation

Curiousity killed the cat. But satisfaction brought it back :)

I can't say I've been killed. But I am going to knock my head against the wall for being curious and for asking that question which has been in my head since I got offered a job here. We all knew the package would be good. But I never had real figures. Today I popped the question. And the numbers are dancing in front of my eyes. Everywhere I turn, those figures are just sashaying and parading in front of me, enticing me to grab at them. Temptation, temptation, temptation. Sigh. Sorely tempted to just grab those numbers and start living a whole new life. So what's stopping me?

Fear. Fear of starting a new life alone in a new place. Fear of not being able to keep up with the job demands. Fear of not being able to adapt to the life alone without my friends and family. Unfounded fears, I must say, but fear nonetheless.

So what if a high chance of getting promoted next year is there? I definitely won't be earning what they offered me here. But... (and there's always a but) the fear of starting anew is there. This is like being back in the past where major decisions I made were influenced by the people around me. I chose a university locally because my family would be near and my friends were also going there. I applied for my first job with my friends because I was afraid to let go of my university life. I think the only major decision I made which wasn't influenced at all was my decision to accept my current job. And I love my job. I love my workplace. I love my department colleagues and the bond I've forged with some of them. And now this.

Pros:

• MONEY!!! AMERICAN DOLLARS!!! More money I'll ever earn at my age.
• Great career opportunity.
• Challenging job.
• Experience of living as an expat.

Cons:

• Too challenging of a job. Work culture is very different here and things sometimes move at tortoise pace. And is very very frustrating.
• Termination. Apparently, employees can get terminated really easily here. Contract or no contract, if the big boss no like you, "You're Fired!"

Fears:

• Not enough strategic experience. Albeit I won't be heading the strategic department but I would be very much involved in the strategies and issues each project would individually face, not forgetting the parent company. At this stage in my career, I'm still receiving guidance from my fellow colleagues and being next in line after a Dept Head is pretty scary. However, the confident part of me tells me I can do it and will pull through and that I'm smart enough to handle anything that pops up. After all, I got into consulting with absolutely no experience and I'm doing alrite.
• Starting a new life alone in a strange place. Okay, so it's not exactly a strange place anymore but still, it's not Malaysia. It's not home. I won't go into food coz nothing beats food back home. I haven't had the experience of living abroad and I'm scared of living alone in a new place. Even though my family's back in Penang but it's only a short drive home and I can call them anytime I want and can go home anytime I want.
• My relationship. He's just got a new job. If he was still at his old place, then maybe I can get him a job here. I don't think it would be too difficult. Yes, I haven't spoken to him about it, but I don't know if he is as willing to move now that he will be doing something he likes. Also, there's no guarantee I can get a job for him here.
• My friends. I love my friends. And I don't know what I'd do without them. Yes yes... I'm sure I'll find new friends here but still... nothing like my sistas in KL and Penang.

So there. I've listed all down. At least thoughts that popped in my head when I got the numbers and the open offer. Although, now that I think about it, there may be something in the contract which forbids clients from poaching consultants. Hmm... I discussed this with another colleague who was also offered a position and we are both sorely tempted now that I've given him the actual figures. We've always joked about coming to work here since we've been here for so long but now that it can actually be a reality... we're both pretty stunned. And I know he's extremely tempted by the money. So am I. We've always joked about being able to afford an aston martin, a yacht, holidays in Nice if we worked here. And now with the figures in front of us, that's one step closer to turning our jokes into a reality. Well, maybe not the aston martin and the yacht but holidays in Nice, definitely.

What to do... what to do :) Oh well, until they find someone (other than trying to poach us, consultants) the position(s) is open. So anyone interested to work in the Middle East, do send me your CVs. I'll just take an ESS fee: 20% of your annual salary :)