My body is in pain right now. It’s probably asking my brain “What the heck were you thinking!?!?!” My arms hurt. My legs ache. A lot. I can’t stretch my arms out without cringing in pain. And being in the office isn’t helping coz I’m basically stuck in one position most of the time and whenever I move, the pain shoots through my body like there a thousand needles piercing my arms at the same time. My left arm is pretty alrite… I mean the pain is bearable. But my right arm is a killer. Even just touching it is painful. I have no idea what I did to warrant such pain. My legs or more specifically my thighs are another story altogether. It’s as if my body is competing in which part can be more painful just to make me suffer. AARGH! I wish I could be at home right now in my comfortable t-shirt and shorts with no shoes on and just lying still on my bed with my arms and legs stretched out straight so that at least my muscles are not cramping up. But no… I’m sitting in the office with almost everyone in the department missing (either in meetings or on leave). And it doesn’t help that I’ve got a dinner and drinks appointment tonight after work. Which means I won’t be able to get home until at least 10 pm. Which means another 8 hours or so of agony and pretending that I’m fine. I’ve even changed to flat sandals because I just couldn’t stand walking around in my heels today. Dammit! I seriously don’t know what I did to have such torture in my arms and legs. I mean, yes, I did push myself last night at the gym and perhaps I should have listened to the trainer when he told me to shower after 30 minutes on the machine instead of sneaking off to do a few crunches but still… such pain and agony!!! I’m just hoping the alcohol tonight will wear the pain off. Or at least take my mind of it. This sucks. Big time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such pain before. Or maybe it’s just that I’m getting older and as un-fit as the next couch potato. Shit.
Interesting revelation: I may be some kind of masochist deep down because even though it hurts to stretch out my arms and legs, I keep doing coz it feels good once I’ve got them fully stretched out.
Really. I’ve been stretching my right arm and legs so many times today, my colleagues must be thinking I’ve gone cuckoo.
I guess it’s justified putting myself through this pain. Oh the journey towards a fitter, healthier lifestyle. Seriously. I’ve been feeling so potato-ish lately, I’m beginning to look like one. At least this way, I know that I’m doing something about it. I’ve finally got off my ass and am doing something lar! Even if it means giving in to unheard of pain and never before felt agony in my limbs.
On a happier note, I’ll be going home tomorrow morning. Home, for 5 whole days! That’s the maximum I can take being at home J Anymore, and I just get so irritated with everything and I feel an uncontrollable urge to snap at everything and anything that approaches within 5 feet of me. So it’s good that I will be able to go home, be a good daughter and good friend and come back to KL leaving everyone happy back home and no one thinking ill of me. At least I hope not.
Attended my first Balai Rakyat meeting last Tuesday after workout. It was interesting. I’ve always been meaning to attend but somehow my sorry ass will always end up back home instead. So it was good that I followed Syl and Mohan to the meeting partly because we were doing a little cake thing for Annie’s birthday. I really like the idea of being able to do something about the political environment of our country instead of just sitting on my ass and just whining and complaining – like every other Malaysian. But I don’t like the secrecy of the whole thing and how we might get convicted if caught. Damn you! Anyway, I suppose it’s all about bringing change. Slowly but surely, hopefully. Anyway, now I’ve told myself that I will get more involved. Let’s just hope that my resolution hold for next year. As it is, I will be missing the next meeting as my sorry self will be in a little Middle Eastern country called Bahrain. Anyway, back to Balai Rakyat. My rants for my trip back to Bahrain can be picked up again later. The meeting was no different than a Voices meeting. Purely because the members who were there were ex-Voices members. I mean, I had fun and all… but I was thinking how difficult it would be if we were to bring in new people into the Balai. And that’s the whole point isn’t it? We really have to stop being so ‘us’. It’s great that we’re so in sync with each other that we understand the crap that we bull, but to an outsider, we’re just isolating him / her. So anyway, had a chat with another member last night, and we shall leave it till after the launching of the site to see how well the response is to the Balai.
Shit. I got up from my seat (an amazing feat considering how much my thighs hurt) and walked (another amazing accomplishment) to the toilet only to find that it’s being cleaned and I won’t be able to use it for another 10 minutes. Bloody hell! I don’t understand why they have to clean the damn thing so many times in one day. Yes, I appreciate (and I really do) clean and dry toilets but 4 times a day?!?!?! And they always occur when I have the urge to go. Question: why clean the toilet 4 times a day but never have enough tissue paper to wipe my hands? Why? Why? Why?
I’m just in a shitty mood. The office is practically empty, there’s no one to talk to and I don’t have much work to do. Fast forward to January. Nearly the same situation. Alone in the meeting room. No one to talk to. Relatively some work to do. Setting: Bahrain. Shit. I’m just feeling so crappy today.
Plus it doesn’t help when I’ve already booked my flight back to KL in anticipation that I will be able to spend some time with a certain someone as he was supposed to take leave and I find out that it’s an uncertainty. So I may be back in KL with nothing to do for 2 whole days. Might as well come back to work and carry forward my leave! Cis Bedebah! I hate it when things don’t work out as I’ve planned it. And I hate it when the reason why it doesn’t work is because of his work. Fuck the work lar! Why is there so much dependency on you? And why can’t you say no, I’ve got plans so I have to take the leave. Fuck all.
Exciting news of the week: Potential job in London for 6 months. Associate / Senior Associate required. Strategy job. Sounds perfect for me, doesn’t it? London baby, yeah!
Okay, so I’m counting my chicks before the eggs are hatched or whatever. But hey, I’m hoping I get put on that job. I mean, c’mon… I did a good job in Bahrain and you’ve obviously got confidence that I interact well with people… pick me, pick me! That’s exactly the feeling I have. Jumping up and down in my seat, one arm raised and shouting “Pick me! Pick me!” London baby, yeah!
I’m so full of crap today. Crappy limbs. Crappy office environment. Crap. All around.
Oh yeah, Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings, Happy New Year… blah blah blah…
Friday, December 23, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
What to do if caught by police
Sylvia gave me the link to this interesting site which as guidelines on what you should do if ever caught by the police (touch wood - never!).
http://ricecooker.kerbau.com/?p=188
That's the link to the guidelines. It's very helpful as I presume many of us do not know of our basic rights and would be too terrified to do anything except follow whatever the police asks us to do if ever in such a situation.
It's a real shame that we as Malaysian citizens have this fear of the police who are sworn to protect us. Ironic, isn't it? We pay this taskforce to patrol our neighbourhood, to protect us from harm and yet we are so scared of them and allow them to bully, threaten and demand bribes from us. I'm not sure about everyone else but for me, whenever I see a policeman on the road, my heart starts pounding and I will make sure to avoid any form of contact with the policeman. This is because I've been in a situation where I've been 'violated' during a roadblock and I was just asking the policeman for directions to the nearest petrol station as my tank was really empty. What happened was the policeman just stuck his head in the window on the pretext of giving me directions but his eyes were somewhere else. Right down my shirt. Bloody hell. I just drove away feeling extremely violated. I know it's a 'small' matter but it really isn't to me. And everytime there's a roadblock, I avoid as much conversation with the policeman as much as possible when they ask me to roll down the window and start asking me where I've been, why am I out so late etc. It's just annoying that they try to intimidate you or expect you to 'abang' them. It seems as if they are invincible with the uniform on and I suppose from their point of view, it's true. All of us are so afraid of them that we will do whatever they ask us to. We are so afraid of being arrested even though we haven't done anything wrong that we just give them money in the hopes of just being able to drive away. And we are also so afraid of making reports against a police officer who has done us wrong as we know that firstly, nothing is going to happen. Secondly, they're all cronies so they will somehow put the blame on you instead and thirdly, they might mark you and start harassing you. It's no wonder that we're so wary of the police.
And it's a real shame that the majority of cops are so corrupt that they overshadow the 'good' cops who really want to do a good job. I'm sure the whole police force is not corrupt and there are some who are truly interested in being a cop than being a cop who can intimidate innocent citizens.
In a way, the exposure of this whole 'earsquats' issue is good as it has brought the spotlight onto the police force and made them aware that they are not as invincible as they think they are. No doubt I do not necessarily agree with the way the issue has been approached but at least something is being done about it. And I also don't agree that ear squats is normal procedure for a body cavity check. Honestly, if I'm going to hide something in my body, I'd stuff it up my arsehole and no amount of earsquats is going to make it drop out. It's just something the police make you do to intimidate and humiliate you. Even if it's 'normal' procedure and everyone goes through it, at least have the decency to do it in a secured room to ensure privacy.
All of us as citizens should stand up and start by knowing our rights and that we can't be pushed around by a uniform. The problem is when we're so afraid and we don't speak out, everything gets swept under the rug which gives the police more power and boldness to continue their tactics.
I hope things will change after this issue. More transparency. More honesty. Less corruption. Less cover-ups. But what are the chances of that happening? As it is now, the issue appears to be dying down already. And pretty soon, Malaysians will do what they do best. Forget it ever happened.
http://ricecooker.kerbau.com/?p=188
That's the link to the guidelines. It's very helpful as I presume many of us do not know of our basic rights and would be too terrified to do anything except follow whatever the police asks us to do if ever in such a situation.
It's a real shame that we as Malaysian citizens have this fear of the police who are sworn to protect us. Ironic, isn't it? We pay this taskforce to patrol our neighbourhood, to protect us from harm and yet we are so scared of them and allow them to bully, threaten and demand bribes from us. I'm not sure about everyone else but for me, whenever I see a policeman on the road, my heart starts pounding and I will make sure to avoid any form of contact with the policeman. This is because I've been in a situation where I've been 'violated' during a roadblock and I was just asking the policeman for directions to the nearest petrol station as my tank was really empty. What happened was the policeman just stuck his head in the window on the pretext of giving me directions but his eyes were somewhere else. Right down my shirt. Bloody hell. I just drove away feeling extremely violated. I know it's a 'small' matter but it really isn't to me. And everytime there's a roadblock, I avoid as much conversation with the policeman as much as possible when they ask me to roll down the window and start asking me where I've been, why am I out so late etc. It's just annoying that they try to intimidate you or expect you to 'abang' them. It seems as if they are invincible with the uniform on and I suppose from their point of view, it's true. All of us are so afraid of them that we will do whatever they ask us to. We are so afraid of being arrested even though we haven't done anything wrong that we just give them money in the hopes of just being able to drive away. And we are also so afraid of making reports against a police officer who has done us wrong as we know that firstly, nothing is going to happen. Secondly, they're all cronies so they will somehow put the blame on you instead and thirdly, they might mark you and start harassing you. It's no wonder that we're so wary of the police.
And it's a real shame that the majority of cops are so corrupt that they overshadow the 'good' cops who really want to do a good job. I'm sure the whole police force is not corrupt and there are some who are truly interested in being a cop than being a cop who can intimidate innocent citizens.
In a way, the exposure of this whole 'earsquats' issue is good as it has brought the spotlight onto the police force and made them aware that they are not as invincible as they think they are. No doubt I do not necessarily agree with the way the issue has been approached but at least something is being done about it. And I also don't agree that ear squats is normal procedure for a body cavity check. Honestly, if I'm going to hide something in my body, I'd stuff it up my arsehole and no amount of earsquats is going to make it drop out. It's just something the police make you do to intimidate and humiliate you. Even if it's 'normal' procedure and everyone goes through it, at least have the decency to do it in a secured room to ensure privacy.
All of us as citizens should stand up and start by knowing our rights and that we can't be pushed around by a uniform. The problem is when we're so afraid and we don't speak out, everything gets swept under the rug which gives the police more power and boldness to continue their tactics.
I hope things will change after this issue. More transparency. More honesty. Less corruption. Less cover-ups. But what are the chances of that happening? As it is now, the issue appears to be dying down already. And pretty soon, Malaysians will do what they do best. Forget it ever happened.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Year end...
The year end is approaching and once again, I am forced to think about what the year has brought for me. 2005 was a year full of changes. I was forced to grow up and face reality that being in the corporate world is full of politics. It made me realise that just being good at your job and being on a friendly basis with your peers and superiors is not enough. Not when there are others who will go behind your back to bad-mouth you and suck up to your bosses to get that promotion which I duly deserved more than anyone else. So, it was a lesson learnt and I am now more wary of what I say and how I present myself. I try to stay out of politics and just listen when people tell me stuff and no longer present my views and opinions as I never know who will carry tales and twist my words.
It was also a year for job change... after the fiasco that happened to me. And I got a job which was not challenging but I met a great person who made a fantastic boss. Unfortunately, the job scope was not right for me. Although, I wouldn't mind turning back and being a Personal Assistant a few years down the line but not now. And although I found out that there were a few people in top management who did not want me to get the position, my boss (now ex-boss) prevailed, dug further and confronted me with the issues that had been made known to her. Which was great because it presented me with the opportunity to clear my name. And I got the position, and got quite close to her and it was great working with someone like her who had so much zest and confidence in me. But as I said, the position I was in was not suitable for me and I got an interview with KPMG and got offered a position.
So I said goodbye to her and 2 other colleagues whom I had only worked with for 1 month plus. It was really hard saying goodbye as the 1-2 months working with them was fantastic and we were such a great team compared to my 2 years in Operations where I slogged and suffered and got bad-mouthed and got no recognition. Even now, I am still being asked if I want to go back to working with them.
And so another job change and here I am in KPMG. In the consulting field. I've been here for only 5-6 months but it feels like I've been here for years. The team that I'm working with is great. It's a small team. Only about 15 of us. But the bond is there. Yes, there are a bit of politics here and there but all of us generally get along with each other. The work is great too. I am really learning a lot here. And within my short stint here, I have already been sent to Bahrain. And I recently found out that I was put on that project after my acceptance of the job offer. Apparently, my bosses thought that I would be able to handle it as I projected a high level of confidence during the interviews. Nice to hear that I look confident even though I was shaking inside. After all, it was an interview! Who isn't scared during interviews? Plus it was for a job that I wanted. Anyway, my only regret is not asking for a higher pay :( Oh well... I'm here to learn and garner experience...
Not only have I changed jobs twice, I've also moved from Seri Kembangan to Puchong to Damansara! And I do not want to move again unless it's because I've bought my own house. Or it's because a certain someone asks me to move in with him :) But I know that won't happen till 2 years down the road so I'm quite happy for now... Could do with more stuff in the house.. but slowly... I'll fill the place up... make it feel more like home :)
And so... here I am facing the end of the year and contemplating my next steps for 2006. What the new year will bring... no one knows... but for now... I suppose I am quite content... have got another month in bahrain to look 'forward' to... have got three holidays planned for next year... so, I'm cool... for now :)
It was also a year for job change... after the fiasco that happened to me. And I got a job which was not challenging but I met a great person who made a fantastic boss. Unfortunately, the job scope was not right for me. Although, I wouldn't mind turning back and being a Personal Assistant a few years down the line but not now. And although I found out that there were a few people in top management who did not want me to get the position, my boss (now ex-boss) prevailed, dug further and confronted me with the issues that had been made known to her. Which was great because it presented me with the opportunity to clear my name. And I got the position, and got quite close to her and it was great working with someone like her who had so much zest and confidence in me. But as I said, the position I was in was not suitable for me and I got an interview with KPMG and got offered a position.
So I said goodbye to her and 2 other colleagues whom I had only worked with for 1 month plus. It was really hard saying goodbye as the 1-2 months working with them was fantastic and we were such a great team compared to my 2 years in Operations where I slogged and suffered and got bad-mouthed and got no recognition. Even now, I am still being asked if I want to go back to working with them.
And so another job change and here I am in KPMG. In the consulting field. I've been here for only 5-6 months but it feels like I've been here for years. The team that I'm working with is great. It's a small team. Only about 15 of us. But the bond is there. Yes, there are a bit of politics here and there but all of us generally get along with each other. The work is great too. I am really learning a lot here. And within my short stint here, I have already been sent to Bahrain. And I recently found out that I was put on that project after my acceptance of the job offer. Apparently, my bosses thought that I would be able to handle it as I projected a high level of confidence during the interviews. Nice to hear that I look confident even though I was shaking inside. After all, it was an interview! Who isn't scared during interviews? Plus it was for a job that I wanted. Anyway, my only regret is not asking for a higher pay :( Oh well... I'm here to learn and garner experience...
Not only have I changed jobs twice, I've also moved from Seri Kembangan to Puchong to Damansara! And I do not want to move again unless it's because I've bought my own house. Or it's because a certain someone asks me to move in with him :) But I know that won't happen till 2 years down the road so I'm quite happy for now... Could do with more stuff in the house.. but slowly... I'll fill the place up... make it feel more like home :)
And so... here I am facing the end of the year and contemplating my next steps for 2006. What the new year will bring... no one knows... but for now... I suppose I am quite content... have got another month in bahrain to look 'forward' to... have got three holidays planned for next year... so, I'm cool... for now :)
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Countdown...
2 more days before I fly home! I've never missed Malaysia so much! Home is still home. Bahrain is okay... it's just not home. I miss the food back home. Can't wait to eat some good ole nasi lemak with rendang. Or Char Koay Teow. Or Asam Laksa. All I've been having here is grilled meat or Briyiani. :p It's nice but... enough is enough!
And no matter how much I bitch about Malaysia, it's still home and I wouldn't trade it for anywhere else. Unless of course I get offered a job here and get paid in Bahraini dinars, then that's a different story :)
Counting down till I'm on the plane headed back home!
And no matter how much I bitch about Malaysia, it's still home and I wouldn't trade it for anywhere else. Unless of course I get offered a job here and get paid in Bahraini dinars, then that's a different story :)
Counting down till I'm on the plane headed back home!
Monday, December 05, 2005
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