Friday blues?

Urgh. It's Friday and normally I would be feeling elated coz I don't have to work the next day but I'm feeling pretty down. Can't exactly put a finger on one specific thing. A combination of things, I suppose. And I know I shouldn't be feeling like this but I do. And it sucks. I'm hoping that lunch in a while will cheer me up. My morning coffee certainly didn't.

It sucks having him work different hours. I should be used to it by now, after all it's been 5 months. But it still sucks. Big time. At times, I'm okay about it, but times like these, I'll be feeling really down. It's so difficult to meet. And we only have weekends to be together but sometimes, we gotta do other stuff too. Which leaves us with nothing. A weekend of other plans means never having to see each other. And we'll have to wait for another week.

I don't want to see him everyday. But there are days when you just feel like seeing him. And the worst part is, I can't even talk to him on the phone. All I can do is text him and wait for either his call or his text coz he can't bloody answer his phone in that dang company. (After changing to another department / company, I realised how fuckingly anal operations was - no h/p on the floor, no internet etc - damn lame) And by the time he can actually call me, I'll be sleepy already.

I'm just ranting and venting my frustration. Today just sucks, so far. Bleh...

On another note, I'll be going back home tomorrow. (Another weekend missed and gone!) It's been a while since I last went back. Miss it actually. Miss my house. Miss my couch. Miss my bed. Miss hanging out with my friends. I feel so detached from them. And of course, I'm the last to get any news. For example, when my friend get pregnant, I found out about it accidentally. Because they thought they had already told me and it was only through a casual e-mail conversation when someone said something that I found out and went like "WHAT?!?!!?" And I never know when any of my friends are travelling somewhere. A friend of mine is in US now and I don't know when she went, for how long, for what reason and when she's coming back. Or another time, when my friend broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years, went out with her ex, then got back together with guy. Or when another friend who's not so close is getting married next year. Or when another one changed job and is now working in a rival firm. Another thing is that I've never met the people that they talk about or are seeing. I've never met my best friend's boyfriend. I've never met another friend's husband. I've not seen my friend's son since he was born and he's now 6 months old and really chubby and cute! This is what happens when I'm the only one in the circle who's away from Penang! Not kept in the loop all the time! I can only catch bits and pieces when we have our e-mail conversations. Or when I go back and we meet for lunch / dinner / drinks. Even then, it's so hard to get everyone together! Someone will always have something to do and won't be able to make the gathering. A sign of us growing up, I guess. All busy and with our own thing.

Crap... feel so melancholy! Haven't felt like this in a while, I think. Maybe I'm just bored. I think I am. I've got work to do but I'm just bored :p