Small girl, Big town syndrome

Lately, I've been feeling like my life is so totally lonely and utterly boring. Every day from Monday to Friday, I do the same thing. Day in, day out. I wake up in the morning, go to work, return home. It's just so mundane! Plus, I don't even have someone to go home to. I go back to an empty house and while the time away until it's time to sleep and repeat the cycle.

Sometimes, I wish my family were here. That I would be going back to my family home. At least it'd be more homey.

Life is so boring. I need something new in my life. Something to keep me entertained at least for half of the week. Have been going swimming for the past week but that only takes up about 1 hour max. What am I supposed to do for the next 4 - 5 hours before I have to go to bed?

Was thinking about joining a yoga class or some dance class but right now, my budget is a bit tight and I can't afford to waste a couple hundreds of ringgit on a luxury like that. Maybe in a few months time once I've cleared off a few things.

I'm writing this post and toggling between my work and reading the news.

Have thought about getting a pet. Something small but responsive. Have been thinking about a bunny rabbit. My previous experience with a rabbit has been quite enhancing(?) Never had any trouble with it. She was even toilet-trained! I don't know how but she really was. Everytime she needed to go 'do her business' she would automatically hop into the bathroom, where her toilet bucket was, and poo in the newspaper lined bucket. It was amazing. And she was really responsive. When she saw you or when you called her, she would actually hop to you and start licking your toes. At least a pet like that would be able to keep me company during those boring and lonely work days.

I'm feeling so disconnected right now. Even my writing is so jumbled. Bleh... just one of those bad weeks...

Blunder...

Oh great. I apparently made a big blunder with my last post.

My previous entry was misunderstood and was not intended for the person who misunderstood it. I was not talking about you. I’m sorry if you thought I was. I do have other friends, you know :)

This is what happens when you write vaguely. :)

If you want further details then feel free to drop me a personal email.

Annoyed

I'm so annoyed. I originally typed out a really long post, venting my annoyance at something that happened over the weekend and stupid blogger lost it when I wanted to publish it. And now, I'm even more annoyed... GRRR....

Anyway, let's just say that I now do not like a certain person and am hoping that I never have to see you again. You totally lost whatever respect I had for you. And I wonder why he chose you instead over her.

Holiday!

I'm going on a holiday. Will be flying north-wards towards the island called Phuket. Managed to grab cheap AirAsia tickets. Three cheers for budget airlines!

Haven't gotten our hotel sorted out yet but I'm sure we can find a place easily since it's low season.

Yay! Can't wait. And I think I can still squeeze in Cherating!

On another note, I cut my hair and gave it a reddish tint. Can't really see it in this picture though. I've got like some fringe down my eyes and everyone says I look like (a) a China doll or (b) Korean.

My haircut without the red highlights yet. I look so weird in this picture :)

Back to KL

My weekend back home was fun. Almost missed my flight though. Plane was scheduled to take off at 7:05 am and I only checked in at 6:40 am. Plus the fact that the guy at the counter gave me the wrong boarding pass didn't help much. Was halfway towards the boarding gate already when I realised that my flight number being announced and the one on the boarding pass didn't tally. Ran all the way back to the counter to change the pass and ran all the way to the gate (which was the last gate) to board the plane. I was the last one on the plane and they were all waiting for me :)

Met up with my friends. Had a really good lunch at Mr Ho's. A real porky lunch though :) I can't remember much of our conversation but just that we laughed a lot. Then as usual, we HAD to go shopping, so we zipped over to Gurney for some window shopping and a coffee break. More laughing at Starbucks too even though I don't remember over what.

Felt good to be back home again and chatting with my friends and sleeping on my bed at home!


My buddies from high school






My pork chop dish with a porky sausage.

My yummy latte with hazelnut syrup.









There suddenly has been many invitations to go on holidays from different sets of friends during the month of October. First there is Langkawi. Then Cherating. Now Bali. Which one to choose? I would like to go for all three but obviously there's a small little thing called financial constraint. Langkawi would be the 3rd weekend of October. Friends from Penang organising it. Cherating would be the last weekend of October. Friends from uni organising. Bali is 2nd weekend of October. Friends from work organising. Sigh... if only I had the money! I would so gladly go for all three! Sadly, because of money and not enough leave days, I'd have to choose one. Plus the fact that my secondment to Bahrain isn't confirmed yet, I'm afraid to plan anything beforehand. I think I most probably won't be able to go for Abang's wedding in January coz it looks like I will be in the Middle East by then. So, which holiday to go for? Even though I went to Bali early this year, I still want to go there! The place is so beautiful and the beach is great. So is the shopping! And this time if I go, I'm definitely going to get a Balinese massage and spa experience. Missed out the last time coz I spent all my money on shopping! On the other hand, Langkawi sounds tempting too coz I'll be going with my high school friends. Something which we've never done before. Cherating also sounds tempting coz of the company. Hanging out with those dudes is really nothing short of fun. So, which one?

Friday blues?

Urgh. It's Friday and normally I would be feeling elated coz I don't have to work the next day but I'm feeling pretty down. Can't exactly put a finger on one specific thing. A combination of things, I suppose. And I know I shouldn't be feeling like this but I do. And it sucks. I'm hoping that lunch in a while will cheer me up. My morning coffee certainly didn't.

It sucks having him work different hours. I should be used to it by now, after all it's been 5 months. But it still sucks. Big time. At times, I'm okay about it, but times like these, I'll be feeling really down. It's so difficult to meet. And we only have weekends to be together but sometimes, we gotta do other stuff too. Which leaves us with nothing. A weekend of other plans means never having to see each other. And we'll have to wait for another week.

I don't want to see him everyday. But there are days when you just feel like seeing him. And the worst part is, I can't even talk to him on the phone. All I can do is text him and wait for either his call or his text coz he can't bloody answer his phone in that dang company. (After changing to another department / company, I realised how fuckingly anal operations was - no h/p on the floor, no internet etc - damn lame) And by the time he can actually call me, I'll be sleepy already.

I'm just ranting and venting my frustration. Today just sucks, so far. Bleh...

On another note, I'll be going back home tomorrow. (Another weekend missed and gone!) It's been a while since I last went back. Miss it actually. Miss my house. Miss my couch. Miss my bed. Miss hanging out with my friends. I feel so detached from them. And of course, I'm the last to get any news. For example, when my friend get pregnant, I found out about it accidentally. Because they thought they had already told me and it was only through a casual e-mail conversation when someone said something that I found out and went like "WHAT?!?!!?" And I never know when any of my friends are travelling somewhere. A friend of mine is in US now and I don't know when she went, for how long, for what reason and when she's coming back. Or another time, when my friend broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years, went out with her ex, then got back together with guy. Or when another friend who's not so close is getting married next year. Or when another one changed job and is now working in a rival firm. Another thing is that I've never met the people that they talk about or are seeing. I've never met my best friend's boyfriend. I've never met another friend's husband. I've not seen my friend's son since he was born and he's now 6 months old and really chubby and cute! This is what happens when I'm the only one in the circle who's away from Penang! Not kept in the loop all the time! I can only catch bits and pieces when we have our e-mail conversations. Or when I go back and we meet for lunch / dinner / drinks. Even then, it's so hard to get everyone together! Someone will always have something to do and won't be able to make the gathering. A sign of us growing up, I guess. All busy and with our own thing.

Crap... feel so melancholy! Haven't felt like this in a while, I think. Maybe I'm just bored. I think I am. I've got work to do but I'm just bored :p

Funny parents

I received a really strange SMS from my mum yesterday. It was about a current boyfriend and an ex-boyfriend. I was at work and writing up a report when I read it. It was so weird and unexpected that all I could do was stare at my phone while my fingers were still poised over the keyboard, ready to type the next words. Won't go into details of the SMS but let's just say that it all came about due to some misguided information, lack of details and reminiscing.

And apparently it was my fault this whole thing popped up because I didn't tell my parents enough about my love life. So with the little information that they have, they just made up their own conclusions. Unfortunately, it wasn't that I didn't tell them. They just forgot what I told them and made up their own stories instead. And the worst part is that they thought that HE dumped ME! And that I was heartbroken! How frustrating is that! Oh well... parents. Anyway, cleared up the whole mess and now (hopefully) everything's fine. They've got enough information to get the correct picture.

It was just so weird reading that SMS. I mean, I didn't know my parents were still thinking about HIM. Makes me feel really uncomfortable. I mean, will they never stop thinking of him as the best person? Just because I was with him for quite some time and it was only natural for them to know him the best since I was still at home most of the time and not yet away. Obviously they wouldn't be feeling the same connection with whomever I'm seeing now as I'm not at home and they haven't even seen the guy. It's a little frustrating to know that my parents still prefer him. Really unfair, not only to me but also to the person I'm seeing now. They seem to think that he was such a good catch etc. Well, newsflash, he wasn't all that great, ya know! Yeah, we had a good time when we were together at the beginning but at the end, I kind of knew that he wasn't for me. We wanted different things. He was like "Let's settle down as soon as we can" and I was more like "Marriage? I dont' know...." :) Not that I'm against the idea of getting married but I'm not exactly going to fight for it either. See how we were different? I remember feeling really uncomfortable whenever he started talking about getting married in the future and how I would just smile and nod and not say anything. Bleh.

Whatever it is, I'm glad it's cleared up. Plus I'm really happy with the person I'm with now and I hope my parents look past the colour and see that he's really a nice guy and that it's my choice, whether it might lead to happily ever after or heartbreak. After all, you never can tell with the future. I'm just living life for the present and hoping for the best for my future with him.

Parents... bleh... what am I to do with them :)

Hey, Aunty!

Is age getting to me? Commitments? Responsibilities? Turning into an aunty without even realising it?

I don't know if it's a sign of growing old but I just can't keep up with the Voices people anymore. And I'm talking about the old farts. Those who were in the same batch as me. Everytime I get together with them for a drinking party, I'd be feeling so tired after a while and would rather spend my time in a more quiet place. Watching them, partying last night was a real eye-opener. I realised that I'm not like that anymore. I used to be able to just have fun, drink, and so what if I've got stuff to do the next day? Problem with then and now is that, the stuff that I need to do the next day is no longer classes or assignments but is to go to work and last the whole day. I can't fuck up anymore and say "I can try again" like back in uni. If I fuck up my job, that's it. No second chance. No "I can extend my sem to pull my grades up". No "I can resit the paper". Guess I really AM getting old. And I'm not regretting it. I'm actually enjoying my life right now. No doubt I had shit loads of fun in uni and with Voices partying all day and night but right now, I'm just in a point of my life where I want to be able to enjoy my work, get my own salary and buy my own things with my own money. Yes, I may complain about my work but who doesn't? All of us complain for the sake of complaining. And I used to want to travel round the world and be a nomad but I realise now, that's not who I am. I won't be able to live that kind of life. So, call me lame or a sell-out or whatever. I don't mind being a slave to the corporate culture :) I don't mind working hard now so that I will be able to afford nice things later on. I don't mind being a yuppie.

Sure, I can still party and have fun, but only on weekends or if I don't have to wake up early and go to work the next day :)

More roadtrips

Don't have many photos yet of my trips to Singapore and Kuantan yet. Waiting for my friends to send them to me.

Singapore
Singapore was really fun. My initial doubts about the trip was completely blown away the moment I stepped into the bus. The bus itself was amazing. It was a double decker bus, with the top part having really spacious and comfortable seats which could fit about 24 people. The bottom part was fashioned into a lounge / sitting area with armchairs and a sofa and a coffee table. Plus there was a home theatre system as well. Talk about luxury! The hotel we stayed in Singapore was a bit small though. The price in Sing dollars was okay... but after conversion, it was way too pricey! But all in good fun, rite?

Dinner at Vijay's uncle's place was really good. Add wine, ambience and good company, by the time it was 10 pm I was already feeling high and sleepy. Was forced to go to a club to meet some friends who had arranged something for me (not that I knew it at the time). Had a great time there. The band playing there sang me a birthday song and I was forced to go up stage and dance there. Was damn shy! :p Then, my friends brought out this amazingly sinful chocolate ice cream cake from Haagen Daaz. Yummy.

Looking tired after a night of fun.







The next day was shopping, shopping and more shopping. Bought a pair of Adidas shoes which were totally unnecessary :) And some cheap 'ah-lian' clothes. And a laptop bag. Hung out at a 'Hooters' bar, drank beer and played drinking games.
My Kilkenny in a Hooters pint.








Real fun day. See the happy smiles! Too bad it ended so fast.

Monday, and it was time to go back to boring KL :) Friends took us to this chocolate bar where all they serve is chocolate and waffles and stuff like that.


Drank this really happening drink called 'Suckao' where you get to melt your own chocolate pellets in a small pot of milk over a tealight candle. Then it was time to get on the bus and head back to KL. 3 days just wasn't enough!



Kuantan
Although everyone was grumbling about the trip, I think all of us had fun. The bus ride there was really bumpy. We chose to sit in the back row and it was like being on a roller coaster ride. We were thrown left, right and center! Reached the resort about 3 plus. We thought we could have some leisure time before dinner but were forced to go to the beach for some team-building activities instead. Thank goodness it rained after about half an hour, so we did our thing. Played cards, chatted etc. Dinner was themed 'Batik / Hawaiian' so I wore my pareo like a dress :) Because of the rain, the beachside BBQ had to be shifted indoors so that was a bit of a letdown. I drank quite a lot that night :) Went back to bed only about 3 something in the morning after hanging out at the beach with some bottles of wine and Chivas.

Woke up the next day at 10 am for breakfast then tele-match games. It was fun, but real tiring. After that, we had to practice for our division performance which we were aiming for first prize. Laughed a lot again and nearly lost my voice :) Was the emcee for the performance so decided to stay away from the drinks during dinner. As expected, our performance was a hit and naturally we won. Danced and drank the night away with another midnight rendezvous to the beach.

Next day was 'balik kampung' and everyone was just groggy and suffering from last night's drinks. Slept most of the way back in the bus even though it was as bumpy as before.

Now, back in the office doing work. Nose is leaking and I'm coughing non-stop. Suffering from the after-effects of too much partying and not enough water and sleep :)

Back online!

After 2 weeks of being disconnected, I finally got my replacement laptop today.

For those of you whom I didn't tell the story to, my laptop got stolen from my desk in my office when I went for lunch. Unbelievable, ain't it?

Anyway, just got back from Kuantan (department trip sponsored by company) and feeling really sickly. Coughing my lungs away. Too much drinking over the weekend :)

Will post pictures from my singapore trip and kuantan trip as soon as I get them.

Feels good to be able to actually do some work. Too much of 'non-work' gets boring after a while.