Nostalgia...

No boss today! Out sick. So here I was, strolling into the office (actually I was hurrying as I thought I was late) when my cell phone rang and it was my boss informing that she will not be in today and even tomorrow. So for the first half of the day, I finished up everything that was pending and after that... boredom! Nothing to do! Been surfing the net all day when I decided to go into the mmuaustrals2003 group thingy and started reading all the old mails. And whoa... talk about feeling nostalgic!

Suddenly all the feelings of anxiety, excitement, irritation, anger all just came back. I remember how stressful it was at that time. Committee members wanting to jump at each other's throats. The work and effort and time we all put in. The endless emails going back and forth especially when deciding on the hotel. I remember calling Farrah from the meeting to ask her if she would like to fill in the convenor position. The endless arguements about how much we should spend and save on the money that we get. The many many arguements about socials (no, I am NOT going to talk about our dear director). The feelings of suspicion and paranoia that we might be cheated. How Farrah and I had to take 'leave' to attend our Australs functions. And finally when the whole event was going on, how our runners were not 'running' and most of the ex-comm had to do everything by themselves. How we wanted to an australs - matrix style intro which never worked out but was really fun talking about it (how come I got a lame part like the keymaker? He dies so fast in the movie!). Reading more of those mails and URGH... getting invoices and receipts from a particular someone was so difficult... wouldn't that give you reason to suspect that something's up? Anyway, the organization of Australs was great. Put a lot of things in perspective. When you're working in a team, everyone has GOT to pull their weight. And if they don't, the team needs to have the guts to say 'You're fired' as Donald Trump in Apprentice would say. And just because someone is a smooth talker, things that he says doesn't necessarily will get done. It's a lot like being in this company. You need to have the guts to tell someone that they're doing something wrong or they're not performing. Rather than letting it slide and trying to cover up.

I do sometimes miss the old debate days. Going for training, getting scolded by Prabs, finding excuses not to for training coz we didn't want to shouted at by Prabs, supper sessions after training, the tournaments, the feelings of anger and injustice towards adjudicators and debaters alike, the emotional ups and downs of everyone in the team, the songs that we sing, the re-enactment of movie scenes, the silly games we played etc. Everything was just great. One big happy family with its moments of drama here and there. The thing I miss most was the great conversations we had. It may be about something mundane but the wit is always there. And because everyone around was so witty, you gotta be on your toes to come back with a retort or add something to your sentence to make it sound funny and charming. I feel like my brain matter has been reduced ever since I left Voices. The conversations that I have with other people just ain't the same. You dont' have to be witty. You don't have to sound really smart. Most of the time, you're the smartest person within that group anyway and your normal words will be enough.

That's why I think it's good for me to join the consulting world. At least it'd force me to be on my toes and to keep my wit sharp. After all, I'd have to talk to people and have to sound really smart :) Also, I will be subscribing to some kind of magazine. Most probably Time. Economist is much better with the data and information but it just looks so boring! At least i know i'll read Time. I've also started reading stuff online. I want to get back into the mode i was in during debate days!

Sigh... sometimes being in the corporate world can render oneself stupid...