Long way more

It's been nearly a whole year since I last blogged and I must say that I'm fairly disappointed with myself in not keeping to at least one stable thing in my life I could count on to always be there for me to rant and vent.
What can I say about the past year? I've been busy as a bee and the months just whooshed by.
Was reading my past posts and realised that I'm kinda back to square one just when I thought all was well. I was angry initially but after the past few days of worrying and crying and feeling like someone just ripped out my heart and stomped on it in front of me, as at end yesterday, I can safely say that I am strong enough to make the right decision and I am strong enough to get on with my life however it may turn out. And I'm glad that I've finally made myself let things go. I made myself not worry and fret but to accept things as they are and to just hope things which are not under my control will get better. But in the meantime, don't sweat it. The ball is now on the other side of the court and we both know what needs to be done if we still want to play this game together. So it's either we work towards reaching for the ball so it can come back to me or we both walk out from the court and perhaps find other players.
Work isn't exactly helping either. I'm swamped. And I feel burnt out. I'm frustrated and tired. A door opened for me and I made the decision not to step through it and to remain where I am now with hopes of prospects and raises hedged on one man only.
I can't wait for the new year to begin. That's because I'm so tired at this point right now that I'm hoping the new year will bring about something new for me.
I'm tired of worrying about work. I'm tired of feeling annoyed at my junior team members who don't seem to have a sense of accountability and responsibility and just lacks common sense. I'm tired of worrying about my relationship and where it's headed. I'm tired of working so hard in this relationship.
Work beckons again. Sigh.

Blogging again

I seem to only blog when I'm in Bahrain. Probably because I've got much more time here. It's only 4:15pm and already i'm thinking what i should have fo dinner. Probably room service briyiani. I'm staying in a hotel, by the way. Just temporarily. I arrived in Bahrain on Monday night and was driven to a real swanky apartment we had agreed upon with the real estate agent. Woke up on Tuesday morning, all jet lagged but ready to sign the lease and pay the rent when I was told they don't do 6month lease. The whole day was then spent making phone calls back to KL and to other real estate agents here to get me another place. Hence, I'm in a hotel. But with any luck, I should be able to get something by Thursday / Friday. A brand new apartment. So new, the building hasn't been named yet. So new, some of the units are still being furnished. But it's a really nice place. Too bad I had to stay in that crappy apartment for so long when there are actually much nicer apartments around within the same rental rate.

Anyway, the trip to Phuket was fun. Not much beach time though but still managed to squeeze in a few hours by the beach. Soaking up the sun then dipping into the water is my idea of a perfect holiday. The number of days preceeding Phuket where we had to work till 10pm everyday had an effect on us. We brought our FRM bear-terroist, Abu, with us to Phuket. No pictures yet, but will put some up once i get my hands on them. The amount of alcohol consumed by us is shocking. I drank quite a bit, that i think it's time to detox myself.

The effects of alcohol - violence against colleagues :)

On a seperate note, i'm not really at a crossroads yet and I don't want to divulge too much information lest i jinx it but i'm hoping for a 'yes' from one party which may change my life. Let's see how it goes.

Oh well, being back in Bahrain is just surreal... saying Hi to everyone I know and repeating the same questions and answers like "How are you" "I'm good" "How's the organisation doing" etc. Not to mention the fake smiles and hellos. Sigh, part of the job i suppose... getting back on everyone's good terms. Doesn't help the project much though when I can't find the project manager from over here. Also doesn't help that there's supposed to be a big meeting tomorrow with the department heads and I can't find the project manager to discuss what should be addressed in the meeting.

It's now 4:40 pm. I should be able to go back soon. Hurrah... 8 more days to go!

Merry Christmas... and what a happy Christmas we shall have with the thought of increased toll rates looming over us. Jeebers. The price hike is ridiculous. RM1.60 for the LDP? Again, many of us question the concession agreements between our government and highway operators. What are the terms of those agreements? Why must it be so secretive? Don't we, the public, deserve to know what's going on? And will the increase in toll rates actually improve traffic jams? Especially the LDP at the Sunway area? I've been stuck approaching the toll gate from Puchong to Sunway so many times it's not funny anymore. Now, we're being conned to paying extra to sit stewing in our rage in traffic jams. Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous. If there is a guarantee that traffic flow will improve then I'm sure we rational Malaysians will gladly pay the extra. Now, we're just being ripped off... again. And can the government STOP comparing to other countries?!?! It just irks me when they always say "our rates are still lower than our neighbouring countries". Yes, rates may be higher but they're offset with lower car prices, more efficient public transport etc. So stop comparing and start giving us transparent justifications instead of spouting of pre-written speeches with the same glib.

And then, some people are also saying that unemployed graduates should stop relying on the government for jobs. Er... can't speak for all Malaysians, but I for one definitely didn't rely on getting a cushy government job. First of all, we ALL know that only certain people get selected to become civil servants. Second of all, employment doesn't mean working for the government. What the government needs to do is to ensure there is enough investments in the country to establish companies and business where people can look for jobs. And the problem of unemployed graduates is not about not being able to find work. The work is there, if you're qualified. But are our local graduates qualified? I would think not. The level of English is non-existent and in the working world, it's extremely important. I won't comment on the quality of education because as we all know, the Malaysian education system is all about memorizing and just regurgitating facts from the textbook back onto the exam paper. Anyway, I'm a local graduate but because of the poor quality of graduates our local universities are churning out, it gives people like me a hard time. When employers see a local graduate's CV, they won't even bother calling them up for an interview. I even had my current boss comment on my English because I was a local graduate and he didn't expect my proficiency of English to be this good. How not to feel insulted? We have so many 'universities' and 'colleges' and 'university colleges' (whatever that is) that having a degree is not enough anymore. It's like any Tom, Dick and Harry can have a degree. And it really gives people who ARE really qualified a hard time because employers just won't know how to filter. Yes, tertiary education is a must for everyone, but it doesn't mean that we can start handing them out like flyers. And unemployed graduates complain about the government not doing enough for you. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and question yourself if you're qualified for a job not only in an MNC but ANY company when you can't speak decent English. We talk about going global but so many of our young Malaysians today can hardly string together a sentence in English.

Yes, I know proficiency in English takes time and we all should really start working towards making English important. Schools being taught in BM is good because for some, that's the only place where they actually speak BM but the standard of the English taught really should be higher. And university subjects should be taught in English. Because translating English terms into BM is just plain difficult because in the outside working world, English is used. Imagine teaching the Black Scholes model in BM. Or stochastic probability. Or what about financial theories?

Sigh...news like these make me just want to move.

Wish Granted!

Someone up there is looking out for me. Thank you so much! My flight has been confirmed and I'll be flying out of here on the 19th!

Fly me home for Christmas?

I've managed to talk my boss into letting me go home earlier for Christmas. Unfortunately, all flights are fully booked. Damn you, Qatar Airways!!! The first time I take Qatar after so long, and you have to do this to me. The best I could do was get myself on the waiting list for the flight that leaves on the 19th. That's 2 days earlier than expected but I'd rather take that than spend my Christmas weekend here feeling miserable.

I'm really such an ungrateful swine sometimes. I complain that I'm bored but when kind souls ask me out, I say No because I'm just too lazy to mingle and meet new people. Okay, starting from this week, no more Miss anti-social. If an invitation floats by, say Yes. Note to self.

On another note, I was recently head-hunted for a job. Haha... my first encounter being head-hunted. Well, it wasn't exactly head-hunting because it was a friend who asked me I was interested in a job in her company. I was happy that she thought of me since it was purely through her experience with me which made her think the job was suitable for me. Totally different industry although it will still be within the realms of consulting. Tempting offer since she told me what they're willing to pay plus the benefits thrown in are pretty good. Definitely better than what I'm getting now. Something to mull over, I suppose during my lonely days left here. I'm not really looking at changing jobs but it never hurts to think over an opportunity like this. Plus, it's a really independent role so it'd give me a chance to really prove myself and see what I'm made of. But I definitely have to think about where I want my career to go. Banking, financial institutions or pure consulting? Business processes and IT solutions? Hmmm....

I'm excited about going back. Well, this wholly depends on if I get my early flight home but I just want to go back home for a few days. And when I say home, I mean Penang home. I suddenly miss all my friends back home and my family and the food! Maybe I can convince mum to get a christmas turkey for me :)

I wonder what the New Year will bring. I'm currently only hoping for one thing regarding my job and it better bring what I'm hoping for and what I've been told is a high possibility. If that doesn't come about, then I guess thinking about new jobs won't be such a difficult decision.

This year has been rather good for me. Although I did spend nearly half of the year here, in Bahrain. I started out the year here and I'm ending the year here. Full circle. I grew a lot, career wise. I travelled a fair bit. I grew closer to some of my colleagues who are now no longer colleagues but friends. My relationship has become stronger. All in all, pretty alright.

So what adventures will the new year bring me? If all goes to plan, I'll be visiting a new place in January, I'll be earning more and having more responsibilites in my job and moving to a new place with V. Keeping my fingers crossed!

P.S. Am also crossing my fingers and hoping really hard that I get on the flight on the 19th! Which is just next week!

My office in Bahrain is on the 7th floor and overlooks the coast. From my window, I have a great view of the sea. And on a clear day like today, the sea is a magnificent colour of blueish green. Being in this Arab country has kind of opened up my eyes to quite a number of things. Like how the people here are pretty liberal and open-minded for an Arab state. It's not a dry country. Pork is easily available in the supermarkets. The cashiers who are Muslims handle pork and alcohol like it's just another item. There are ample pubs and discos around. Many of the locals drink. You can order pork in restaurants discreetly. The people here dress exceptionally well. Especially the younger generation in their designer suits and dresses. If you marry a Muslim here, you don't have to convert.

Then I read the news back home. And it saddens me to think that a Muslim Arab state can be so liberal and yet my home which is supposed to be a secular country is so close-minded. I was having a conversation with an expat from Northern India who works with the Ministry of Commerce in Bahrain. She was asking about Malaysia and how it's like in terms of being liberal. So I told her that it's pretty much like in Bahrain where you can get pork and alcohol. Walking around town in spaghetti strap tops is okay. There are pubs and discos around. Then she asked me about conversion. That non-Muslims who marry another Muslim has to convert. Hmm... didn't know how to respond. Then she mentioned that she dealt with the Malaysian embassy in Bahrain quite often seeing that she's doing PR for Commerce. And she asked how come all of the people working at the embassy are Muslims since Malaysia is a multi-racial, multi-religion country. Again, didn't know how to respond. How do I tell a foreigner that the reason why government posts are predominanly Muslim because of racial quotas? That for every application for a government post, only 1 or 2 positions are set aside for other races, the rest for Malays? Sigh...

Then, I read about another fight over a dead body. I don't understand why the religious department has to come into the picture of a deceased person, whether this person was Muslim or not. In this particular case, the fella apparently renounced Islam and returned to being a Roman Catholic and even has documents to prove it. So why must the religious department still insist on claiming the body just to give the fella an Islamic burial? First of all, his family is the one suffering for their loss. He was a part of their family NOT a part of the religious department. If anything, the family should have the right to bury him, whether he was Muslim or not. Why must there be interference from outsiders in deciding how our loved ones should be buried? Isn't the loss of a family member sad enough without adding salt to the wound? Yes, it may be important to be buried according to religious beliefs but aboveall, shouldn't the FAMILY have the last say? Especially in this case, where they have all the documents stating that he is now a Catholic. I'm wondering how this case will turn out. If the Syariah court rules that the religious department has the RIGHT to claim the body, we all know where our country is headed for.

I understand the need for religion but I don't understand people who use their religion to commit acts of stupidity like imposing your beliefs on others and condemning other religions and destroying other places of worship. Religion gives people an excuse to be stupid and unreasonable. And politicians using religion to justify things? C'mon! Take the case of our lady minister who declared that if God said to stay, then she will stay. Urm... that doesn't explain the case of the APs, dear. I absolutely hate it when they use God's name to justify themselves or to explain things. And why must a religion be imposed on people? Why force people into your religion? Doesn't religion preach about freedom of choice? That you should only believe if you believe? And not because you were born into it or married into it? And is it really a crime to renounce said religion and punish them by law? If I don't believe in my religion anymore, who are you, another human being, to tell punish me? Shouldn't it be between myself and God come judgement day? Shouldn't it be God who has the ONLY RIGHT to punish me? And using the ISA on people who renounce said religion? Jeebers... The justification of using the ISA is on people who may cause threat to national security. Er... how does renouncing said religion cause unrest? Isn't that sentence so vague? If it's really about causing unrest then what about those keris-waving people shouting that they're the pivotal race and that Malaysians can never be equal as there are some who are MORE equal than others? Aren't speeches like that even more disturbing than people who renounce said religion?

The whole 'let's play race politics' is getting out of hand. These people preach that they don't want another racial riot to occur but from the things that spew out of their mouths, they appear to be the ones instigating and fanning the embers. And what's most frightening about all this is that there ARE people who believe what is being said. That other races are causing problems. That they are stealing businesses and controlling the economy. That said race can never progress and rise because of these other races. It's really really sad.

I have a whole lot more to rant about but if I do, it'll never end. I'm just hoping that we, as smart Malaysians, see what is right and what should be done to stop all this.

It's so annoying reading the news from back home. Discussing religion is a 'sensitive' issue. Bumiputra rights are a 'sacred' issue. Sex is 'sensitive'. Jeebers. Bollocks.

And I hate it when people say, "Oh, it goes against our Eastern values" or 'Asian values'. What the heck is that anyway? Just because we're Asian, doesn't mean we're governed by these so called values and just clam up regarding issues which are deemed 'sensitive'. C'mon, we're in an era where information is so easily available, wouldn't it be easier to just address these issues instead of hiding behind 'values'?

I think I should just stop reading the news back home. Gets me riled up.

Temptation

Curiousity killed the cat. But satisfaction brought it back :)

I can't say I've been killed. But I am going to knock my head against the wall for being curious and for asking that question which has been in my head since I got offered a job here. We all knew the package would be good. But I never had real figures. Today I popped the question. And the numbers are dancing in front of my eyes. Everywhere I turn, those figures are just sashaying and parading in front of me, enticing me to grab at them. Temptation, temptation, temptation. Sigh. Sorely tempted to just grab those numbers and start living a whole new life. So what's stopping me?

Fear. Fear of starting a new life alone in a new place. Fear of not being able to keep up with the job demands. Fear of not being able to adapt to the life alone without my friends and family. Unfounded fears, I must say, but fear nonetheless.

So what if a high chance of getting promoted next year is there? I definitely won't be earning what they offered me here. But... (and there's always a but) the fear of starting anew is there. This is like being back in the past where major decisions I made were influenced by the people around me. I chose a university locally because my family would be near and my friends were also going there. I applied for my first job with my friends because I was afraid to let go of my university life. I think the only major decision I made which wasn't influenced at all was my decision to accept my current job. And I love my job. I love my workplace. I love my department colleagues and the bond I've forged with some of them. And now this.

Pros:

• MONEY!!! AMERICAN DOLLARS!!! More money I'll ever earn at my age.
• Great career opportunity.
• Challenging job.
• Experience of living as an expat.

Cons:

• Too challenging of a job. Work culture is very different here and things sometimes move at tortoise pace. And is very very frustrating.
• Termination. Apparently, employees can get terminated really easily here. Contract or no contract, if the big boss no like you, "You're Fired!"

Fears:

• Not enough strategic experience. Albeit I won't be heading the strategic department but I would be very much involved in the strategies and issues each project would individually face, not forgetting the parent company. At this stage in my career, I'm still receiving guidance from my fellow colleagues and being next in line after a Dept Head is pretty scary. However, the confident part of me tells me I can do it and will pull through and that I'm smart enough to handle anything that pops up. After all, I got into consulting with absolutely no experience and I'm doing alrite.
• Starting a new life alone in a strange place. Okay, so it's not exactly a strange place anymore but still, it's not Malaysia. It's not home. I won't go into food coz nothing beats food back home. I haven't had the experience of living abroad and I'm scared of living alone in a new place. Even though my family's back in Penang but it's only a short drive home and I can call them anytime I want and can go home anytime I want.
• My relationship. He's just got a new job. If he was still at his old place, then maybe I can get him a job here. I don't think it would be too difficult. Yes, I haven't spoken to him about it, but I don't know if he is as willing to move now that he will be doing something he likes. Also, there's no guarantee I can get a job for him here.
• My friends. I love my friends. And I don't know what I'd do without them. Yes yes... I'm sure I'll find new friends here but still... nothing like my sistas in KL and Penang.

So there. I've listed all down. At least thoughts that popped in my head when I got the numbers and the open offer. Although, now that I think about it, there may be something in the contract which forbids clients from poaching consultants. Hmm... I discussed this with another colleague who was also offered a position and we are both sorely tempted now that I've given him the actual figures. We've always joked about coming to work here since we've been here for so long but now that it can actually be a reality... we're both pretty stunned. And I know he's extremely tempted by the money. So am I. We've always joked about being able to afford an aston martin, a yacht, holidays in Nice if we worked here. And now with the figures in front of us, that's one step closer to turning our jokes into a reality. Well, maybe not the aston martin and the yacht but holidays in Nice, definitely.

What to do... what to do :) Oh well, until they find someone (other than trying to poach us, consultants) the position(s) is open. So anyone interested to work in the Middle East, do send me your CVs. I'll just take an ESS fee: 20% of your annual salary :)

Tinkling thoughts and things

I thought being in here would give me more time to reflect on things and write in my blog about what's going in the world today. But that doesn't seem to be the case. I seem to lost the 'will' to write. I've been pretty lazy the past week since I got here. Lazy not in the work sense. I'm still doing my work as I'm supposed to. But just being lazy. Lazy to cook my own dinner, so I order in even though I've already bought my groceries. Lazy to exercise. Lazy to go out. I've just been bumming around the apartment being a damn couch potato or surfing the net or playing my computer games. Also, my tummy's been acting really strangely. I've been visiting the toilet so many times that it's now my loyal companion here. I'm not having any pains or cramps. But I've just been running like crazy. And I have no idea why. Everytime I go to the toilet, there's stuff coming out. Sounds gross, but crapping is part of life so deal with it. I think I'm either still getting used to the food here or something I'm eating regularly could be doing this to me. Could it be the bran bread I eat for lunch everyday? Or maybe the bran cereal I take every morning for breakfast? I'm eating so much fibre, enough to last me for a lifetime I think. Anyhow, I suppose it's good for my system. Get rid of the excess crap I may have in my intestines.

My first weekend here passed uneventfully. Was invited for dinner by a Malaysian colleague who's on secondment here as the big boss was in town. Her apartment was huge! And she's living alone. I should have just accepted her offer to stay with her. But then again, she's not really on the same wave length so on second thoughts, living alone here is much better. So dinner over the weekend was taken care of. Had chinese food in this Hong Kong restaurant on Saturday night. It was actually quite decent. Can you believe it? Decent chinese food in Bahrain. Plus the servers were from China. The big boss was like "Oh, you can speak chinese to them and order for us!" And I was going "Crap crap crap..." since I obviously can't speak mandarin for nuts. And when the waitress spoke to me in her mandarin, the accent was so thick I could hardly understand her! As it is, I already have a hard time understanding Malaysian Mandarin. But anyhow, the food was ordered and it was pretty alright. Very saucy. Not so much Hong Kong style but more of South China, I think. But hey, I'm no expert on food.

Sayang's started his new job. Well, technically started anyway. He's on this camping trip with the workmates. Part of the programme. I started laughing when I found out he has to go for this trip. Going camping and being adventurous is the last thing he would do.

Urgh... I just read the news that some 100 year old man married a 22 year old woman. I don't know. Something about that just doesn't seem right. Call me conservative but what the heck would they do with each other? It's just disturbing...

Okay, back to work...although I'm now in the mood to strangle some people!

Of old friends, runny stomachs and green hair

Edit: This post is a bit outdated but what the heck...

Last weekend was about meeting old friends and reminiscing memories shared. The trip back to ole cyberjaya was good even though we were kind of grumbling about it as it was just so very far away. But hanging out in Annie’s apartment, drinking wine, looking at NG’s photos of Indonesia, eating green salad and chatting was good. It was good to just lay back with my friends and talk about everything and nothing. Dinner with Logan and Mohan was also good and though it was just simple pork noodles and ikan bakar, the company was good and the laughter aplenty. The invitation back to Logan’s house was at first turned down as it was quite late and quite far but in the end we relented and all of us convoyed to his house. The treat of mango margaritas on Logan’s newly bought blender and wine was a bonus. Conversation was flowing as was the margarita. I continuously drank the lone bottle of wine and it was all mine. Topics of conversation ranged from local bloggers to music. The fun really started when Logan dug out old photographs of our debating days. Memories long tucked away were once again dredged up as what happens everytime we get together. Stories which have been told and retold a gazillion times were regaled once again and the laughter was never-ending. Each of us have had our own share of humiliating and embarrassing stories but we’re never shy to tell them each time as those times were equally shared with fun and laughter. I have never laughed so hard with them for a very long time. Remembering the times we had as a debating group was bittersweet. I know those times are long gone and that we’ve grown up and moved on but clinging on to those memories make all of us bonded together somehow. Logan got his video cam out and started recording the party after a while. I don’t really remember what transpired that got recorded but I remember laughing a lot. And being a commentator of a wild life show and getting bitten by Logan who was pretending to be a sting ray after Logan, Farrah and Mohan decided to attack me. The party finally broke up at about 4 plus AM after the booze ran out. I drove myself back tightly wrapped with the happy memories I’ve created with my friends and a smile on my face.

Didie’s engagement dinner was simple and easygoing. Dinner was alrite and seeing old friends from uni was good. Looking at who’s going out with who and who’s getting married. Seems like a lot of people are getting hitched. Not like I’m rushing for my turn. *touch wood*

Was home sick yesterday with a slight bout of the runs. A bit of stomach cramps and a lot of running to the toilet. As sick as I was, I still managed to buy more clothes. My excuse is that I haven’t shopped for clothes in a while so it’s alright. In total, I bought 4 skirts, 1 jacket, 1 shirt and a leather handbag. Thank goodness I’m going off to Bahrain in a few day’s time and will live on my allowance hence leaving my salary untouched allowing me to use that money to clear off my credit card bills!

Did my hair over the weekend. The colour came out disastrous. Well, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, I kinda liked it but it just wasn’t suitable AT ALL for work. So I walked out of the salon feeling cool and funky but as the weekend drew to a close, I realised that I really wasn’t THAT confident to be walking into the office with peacock green hair! So I bought myself some blue-black hair dye and re-coloured the bright parts. So now my hair is a very dark brown with dark blue highlights. Pretty alright looking now. Why didn’t I have peacock green hair during my uni days?

Again?

It was around this time last year when I was preparing to go to Bahrain. I remember the excitement of having to go overseas for an assignment, the apprehension etc. Fast forward a year later and here I am back in the same position of preparing to go to Bahrain. Except this time, the excitement and apprehension have worn off. All that's left is a feeling of tiredness and "When is this going to end?"

I came back home after a total of 4 months (collectively) in Bahrain. I reached Malaysian land in April. 6 months later and I'm flying back again. Urgh. I'm not exactly thrilled about going back. The only light in my tunnel right now is the money I will be able to save. The work, on the other hand, is a real chore.

I'm trying to console myself right now and keep reminding myself about the money and the change of environment. However, I will be missing quite a few things with my impending departure.

1. Melissa's coming back home and I most probably won't have time to see her.

2. Mel's hen's night. I've never actually been to a hen's night before so I was really excited about it since I was supposed to be helping out.

3. Company annual dinner. What a bummer. Everyone in the department is around and will be attending and I will have to miss it.

Feeling rather down and out now with my departure date looming closer.

On another note, I'm really wishing well for someone close to me to get the job he is interviewing for. Although it would mean a pay cut for 6 months, prospects are much better and benefits to die for.

I now need a short (knee-length) cheongsam to wear for Mel's wedding as one of the chee-muis. Ish. I probably have to purchase one now. Plus i don't have anything to wear for the wedding dinner yet. Gotta buy a dress for that too.

Anyway, for some viewing memories, some random pictures of happy times and holidays...

Happy times in Rantau Abang - 2004














High and happy in Bangkok - 2006













Chirpy in blue - Pangkor 2006














Tired but happy in Phnom Penh - 2006












Tiredly painting for Community Day - 2006














Being ladies futsal champions among all the accounting firms in the Klang Valley - 2006












I can't seem to find my older pictures. Kuantan, Phuket, Bali, Langkawi etc. They're probably somewhere around...

Holiday!

Yes, I'm going on a holiday!!! From tomorrow onwards till next week, I should just be lying around on the beach, getting burnt by the sun, drinking lots of ice cold beer at premium prices, getting pampered at the spa and eating lots of good food at affordable prices. Sounds perfect.

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I last posted anything. It's not that I've been particularly busy but somehow, time in the office passes by so quickly that even though there's not many things to do, updating my blog just doesn't get done.

So let's see... last update was July. It's now September. Let me do a recap of key things that happened:
July: Company trip to Pangkor / Grandmother passed away at the ripe age of 94
August: Cambodia Holiday / Birthdays galore / Playing Futsal for my company and emerging as champions / Merdeka party / Beloved Sony Ericsson K750i stolen / Community Day - painting a special school in Klang

My grandmother passed away in her sleep. She was 94 years old. I suppose we can all say that she's lived a full and glorious life with 12 children and a large number of grandchildren and great grandchildren. So, here's to you, ah ma... you will always be remembered.

The company trip to Pangkor was crazy. I've never seen my bosses getting themselves so drunk and dancing so crazily even I got scared! The whole trip was a blast and going kayaking at 3 in the afternoon is NOT a good idea. Got burnt by the sun. Fortunately, it wasn't the pain+peeling skin type of burn. Just got darker. I got totally smashed on the first night but managed to get back to my room to take off my contact lenses and change into PJs before passing out on my bed. Talk about being a responsible drunk! Although I don't remember a few things I did which my colleagues were more than happy to tell me :P

My short trip to Phnom Penh / Siem Reap was incredible. Seeing the Angkor Wat up close and personal is a once in a lifetime experience. It's amazing how they could have built such incredible structures. And how accurate they are in their construction. And to hear the stories of how and why the temples were built and the stories of the murals was just wonderful. The not so nice experiences are the children who beg / sell trinkets, the exhibits of the Pol Pot Regime and how they tortured thousands of people and the number of people who were killed at that time. But it's a real eye opener and made me realise how lucky we Malaysians have it. It was really depressing to see the killing fields and the musuem.

My birthday came and went. I am now a quarter of a century old.

The worst thing about my birthday was losing my phone. Sucks ass to lose my 'only one year old' phone and all the information I had inside. Plus, the fact I left my phone in the cubicle of a reputable hotel where a medical conference was being held which would have been attended by upper middle class professionals and having my phone NOT returned shows that Malaysians are pure greedy and selfish people. Come on... I'm pretty sure that EVERYONE at the conference had their own mobile phones and it COULDN'T have been the cleaners coz I rushed back to the toilet only 10 minutes later and it was already gone. So why take the phone, huh? Pure idiots. I was at a derivatives seminar last week and I found a Motorola Razr on the floor. Obviously someone who attended the seminar had dropped it. Would I have kept it? No. I picked it up and passed it on to the organiser of the seminar. Why? Because it's the RIGHT thing to do! IDIOTS! I curse the person(s) who took my phone and hope he / she falls into a huge monsoon drain and breaks both legs and arms. Serves you right for not returning my phone.

Community Day was tiring! I was in the group which had to paint a section of the school and it was hard work! First of all, because the walls were brick and we had to fill in ALL the little cracks. Secondly, some pure slackers didn't finish their part properly and we, being responsible people, had to pick up after them. I realise that there will always be people who slack off and expect someone else to pick up after them. And there will always be people who will finish off whatever these slackers leave behind. It’s the way the world works and it sucks. It sucks when you have to finish off other people’s work and you have to clean up after them. It sucks when you can’t just leave the unfinished work and walk away because there is that thing called responsibility so ingrained that you just have to finish it up. Crap… A curse on slackers and their offspring who ultimately will grow up to be irresponsible beings as well.

I also realise that we need to start a culture of firing people who are not performing and who have general bad work ethics and attitude. People who give off a bad smell whenever they’re around (and in my case, I mean that quite literally) should just be let go. The situation we have right now at work is a wholly annoying person who thinks he is a hell of a great person and is smarter than everyone else. Right. Well, let me tell you something. Not meeting deadlines, having to re-do your work, going AWOL is a pain in the ass. When we have to look for you on deliverable day because you’ve gone MIA and you haven’t given us your report is not acceptable. Waltzing into the office at 11am when work starts at 9 is not acceptable. Jeebers. And bragging about yourself is a no-no especially since your work and attitude proves otherwise. This dude is a real pain-in-the-ass. In a way, I feel kind of sorry for him coz none of us talks to him and we go out for lunch without including him etc. But he's just so annoying that all of us can't stand him. Urgh. Words can't describe him. I think we need to start emulating Donald Trump's words... You're fired!

It's a bit slow now at work. Nothing new confirmed yet and a lot of things in the pipeline. I'm hoping to be put on the overseas jobs. At least then I'll get to travel again. I've practically been grounded since coming back from Bahrain in April.

Looking forward to my next holiday which is coming up in exactly 14 days! Hoorah! 6 wonderful days sun, sand and surf. 6 glorious days of cheap and delicious food, drinks and great company. Aah... I can feel the sun on my back and an ice cold beer in my hand...

I shall end this post with a photo of which I am very proud of. To be part of a team who emerged as ladies futsal champions among all the accounting firms in KL! Plus we were the only team to have nice jerseys and looked the best :)

Forum on Community Driven Change

There will be a forum hosted by BalaiRakyat and the Friedrich Naumann Foundation titled Community Driven Change to discuss how communities (i.e. Resident Associations, Community based Organisations) can effect change in their own environments.

The forum will include highlights of common problems based in certain areas / districts, ideas on how communities can be mobilized and finding workable solutions to these identified problems.

There will be two invited speakers. One of which is the president of the PJ Resident's Assocation and the other from a political party which fights for the urban poor.

Details of the forum below:
Date: 8th July 2006
Time: 2:30 pm
Venue: Function Room, Hotel Malaya, Kuala Lumpur

Contact and registration: sylvia.joachim@gmail.com

Click on the Balairakyat link above for more information on the forum and its objectives.

Everyone is welcome to attend. Admission is free.

Football Fever

It's World Cup season! I know this is coming in 19 days too late but what the hell... England is in the Quarter Finals!!! Although their performance have given me a few heart attacks but at least they managed to scrape and crawl their way through to the last 8. Luckily there are quite a number of England supporters in the department so won't kena maki that much. Have made bets within the department... England for the Semis!!!

I've been so lazy these past few weeks. Busy but lazy. Busy at work but lazy to do anything else after work.

Will be free this weekend. Trying to decide what I should do :)

Cranky and Crampy

Half a day has gone by and I haven't accomplished anything. The document I'm supposed to finish still looks like how I left it yesterday. Thought I could make this queasy feeling in my stomach go away if I ate something but it's after lunch time and I'm feeling worse. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm having my monthly cramps. Crap, this is the worst bout of cramps I've ever had. At least I got the rest of my other stuff done and only have this proposal to complete by tomorrow. My head's jammed and I can't seem to think. I can feel a headache coming along. It's as if there's a tiny little hammer pounding at the back of my head now. And as the day progresses, this hammer is going to grow into one giant mother-fucker. Am in such a bad bad mood. Don't feel like talking. Don't feel like working. I just want to go back home and curl under the blanket, hoping that when I wake up the next day, everything will be rosy.

Leaving on a jet plane

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands


I've been here and there but the above map doesn't quite paint a correct picture. Like I've only been to California in the States so the whole of US shouldn't be coloured. But it's cool... hopefully I can cover a fair bit before I'm too old and feeble to walk :)

Wind down, wind up, open wide

*Another update*
Yay.. I've gone and gotten myself that test. Will be getting a blood test done next week... better safe than sorry...
Apparently I'm very fertile o_O

*Update*
Have decided to consult a private clinic instead. Sceptical about the nurses in government clinics... they're so obviously not going to be gentle and I'd have to endure embarrassing lectures about having pre-marital sex :P So don't need all that crap right now.

No time to recover from Bangkok! Was forced to go into work extra early the next day even though I had just reached home around 12 am and still needed to shower and unpack! This week has been extremely busy (as usual). Have been leaving the office around 9pm every night! Hopefully by next week, things would slow down a bit for me as I've already finished my report and just have to get through the presentation next week.

Bangkok was a blast! Stayed at the Ascott which was extremely lovely and comfortable. Even though I had to share a room with a colleague but the 4 of us in the 2-bedroom suite was just nice. Adn there was free food! Cans of soft drinks, boxes of milk, oreos and some packets of nuts. Although they don't refill the food but still, it was free! At first we thought we had to pay for them and just stared hungrily at them while waiting for boss for dinner. How stupid we felt when we found out they were free! Forgot to take pictures of the apartment though. But below are some photos taken from their website:

The master bedroom...










Lounge area...








View from the kitchen... obviously our apartment didn't have the fancy bread and salad...




Stuffed myself silly with food during the whole week. Thai food is just extremely delicious. Even though I tell myself not to eat so much, I just can't help trying everything and end up eating till I'm stuffed. So it was always pretty hard concentrating on the training after lunch :)

The shopping was great too. Everything is just so cheap! Shoes, bags, clothes.... you name it. Most of the things are like 199 baht (Pronounced wan nai nai by the salesgirls). I initially changed only about RM400. But then during the week, I got an extra 2000 baht from my boss since he was leaving and changed another RM100 :P Uncontrollable spending!!!

And I haven't drank as much as I did during that week in a long while (minus Voices days). We were drinking every night! And I don't know how but I was suddenly crowned the President of our department alcoholics! Hey, I don't drink all that much, you know! There was one night I was too full after dinner to drink and my boss was like "Did that come from you?" Hmph! My colleagues who couldn't finish their drinks also passed them to me... do I look like a drain? And surprisingly, I didn't get high... Hmm... Have found a new drink... Grey Goose Vodka with Ligo Cranberry Juice and a slice of orange! Mmmm... refreshing!

On a totally different note, I need to get myself checked up. No, I don't have any diseases... Just for my own health. I was in Putrajaya on Tuesday to collect something from a government office and decided to try and make an appointment with the health clinic there to get that check since it will be affordable (note: cheap). Went to the women's health counter:
Me: (all in malay) I want to make an appointment with a specialist to get a test.
Nurse: Oh, you don't need a specialist. Usually for that, a nurse will do it.
Me: Okay. Can I make an appointment then?
Nurse: You don't need to make an appointment. Those tests are done on Thursdays. So you can just come.
Me: Okay, then.
Nurse: Are you married?
Me: Er... no....
Nurse: Oh, if you're not married then you don't need to get that checkup.
Me: Er... (knew what she was getting at)... but I just want to get it checked anyway.
Nurse: Usually we don't do it for unmarried women. Only married ones.
Me: Er... okay... but I just want to get the test anyway. (trying not to laugh)
Nurse: Have you ever been with a man?
Me: (really trying not burst out laughing coz I just found it funny) Yes.
Nurse: Oh.... then you need to get the test. Come on Thursday.

Goodness!!! How naive was that?!?!! Pap smears are only for married women.... (rolling eyes) Why do I get the feeling that I will be lectured by the nurse when she finds out that I'm not married but (GASPS) pernah bersama dengan lelaki!!!

So anyway, am finally making good on that promise I made to my sister to get myself tested. Will be going today or next week. Feeling pretty aprehensive about it. Takut, la...

At this particular moment, I feel so taken for granted. I feel that I've done so much for him which has gone unappreciated and unnoticed. I put in so much extra effort to make sure that we see each other. I do my best at whatever he asks. And yet... it seems as if everything I do doesn't matter, because after all, it's supposed to come with the relationship, right?

I don't mind doing all that I'm doing but I would like some acknowledgment. You need someone to pick you up? Fine, I'll do it because I understand that you don't have your car back yet. You need some money to tide you over? Fine, I'll lend you some. You left something in my car and need me to turn back to return it you? Fine, I'll do it. You need to borrow my car to go somewhere? Fine, take it since I'm not using it. You're vegetarian today? Fine, we'll go somewhere where you can easily get vegetarian food. I will gladly do anything for you. But all I'm asking for is a word of 'thanks' and some appreciation. Do I get that? No, not really. You borrowed my car yesterday and when I got in this afternoon, I noticed the floor mat was out of place and so I asked you if you fetched anyone else. Did I get a decent answer from you? No. What I got was, "I can't wait to get my car back so that I won't have to get questions like that from you." Look, you borrowed MY car, and I definitely have the RIGHT to ask if there was anyone else. I didn't say you couldn't fetch anyone but all I wanted to know was who sat in the passenger seat last night when MY car was with you. Even if it had been your car, I would have asked the same question! You borrowed MY car and got annoyed with ME for asking you a harmless question. Did I get mad at you? No, because I didn't want to start an arguement. So I let it pass. Later, we had to send your uncle back to his house where you were getting off as well to follow your cousin back to your house. Fine. Which means, I will have to go to your uncle's place to drop YOU off, then drive MYSELF back to my house. Still fine. But when we got there, you left without taking your things. And I had to turn back after being halfway home, to give you back your stuff since you needed them. When I got there, you opened the door and just took your stuff. No word of "thanks". No word of "bye". No word of "good night". I know we had an arguement on the way to your uncle's place but if our positions were reversed, I know I would have at least said "thank you". I was feeling slightly depressed that I would be going back home alone and even wanted to put in that extra effort to follow you back home even though it means going through a horrendous traffic jam in the morning so that I could spend a little more time with you. But you said your cousin was staying over with you tonight. Fine. So I said let's go back to my home first and your cousin can pick you up later when he sends your uncle back home since they're still drinking and will be ordering another jug. Which would give us at least an hour together. But you said No. You wanted to continue drinking with your uncle. Obviously I got upset since I won't be seeing you for the coming 2 weeks. Was I wrong to get upset? I don't think so.

I do wonder if it's really worth it. If what we have is really worth my putting in all this effort for you. Why bother doing things for someone if I get nothing in return? Why bother thinking of someone and doing nice things if that someone doesn't bother putting in the same effort and doing nice things for me? Sometimes, it's the little things that count. And if that someone doesn't believe in putting effort in the small things (or big things for that matter), is it worth it?

You tell me.

Still busy

The month of May is whizzing past me. I feel like it was just yesterday I was stepping out of the plane back from Bahrain. But it's actually been nearly a month since I got back. The amount of work I've got on my plate makes it seem I've never left. And I just received news that our contract might be extended again and I will need to go back to Bahrain after the summer break. But I've got my holiday plans in September / October, so we'll see. If it really gets extended, then I'll have to negotiate something.


Am based in the heart of KL right now. The drive here is horrendous and I can't take the LRT as there isn't one near my place and by the time I drive to the nearest station, I might as well drive all the way to town already. Luckily I can come in slightly later and miss most of the morning rush. The food around here is great, though. Cheap and good! And loads of chinese eateries around. What more could I ask for!


Went back home over the long weekend and just lamed in the house. Forgot to call up my friends beforehand and felt too lazy to go out and catch up with them :( Bad, I know... but sometimes I just want to laze at home and not do anything except hang out with my family and eat good home-cooked food. The bus journey back home and back to KL was alrite. Surprisingly no jam.

MMU won the Asians again this year. Good for them. Had the option of taking a ferry to Langkawi to meet up with the kids but was just too lazy :) Besides, I haven't been home since I got back from Bahrain so it was a good reason not to go.

Apparently a lot of the spectators were anti-MMU during the finals. Oh well, that's like so expected. I would have to say other contingents in Asians are normally intimidated by us because we're so outgoing and united as a group. Not to mention our guys and gals normally score :) The culture of Voices MMU carries on :)
I'm actually blogging right now because I can't stand looking at my work anymore. After this project, I think I'll be an 'expert' on Islamic banking :| All the jargon and terms and concepts are so confusing. And the project room here is such a mess. Documents and files strewn all over the table. Everyday,we say we'll tidy them up but by the end of the day, we'll be too tired and too eager to go home.

Went back to the office yesterday and got bombarded with more work. It's like she can sense when her people are back. Immediately when I came back from lunch (coz before lunch in the morning she wasn't in), my phone rang... oops... get something done for her by the end of the day coz she needs it by the next morning :|
So spend the whole afternoon rushing that out for her, then had to finish up some slides which were due and finally only left the office nearly 8. Bleh.

My claims submission this month was so measly. This is the first month where my claims aren't 4 digits. So sad :( No more extra cash / savings.

Okay... back to work now. Deadline drawing near. So is lunch time :)