Grr...

Disturbed I am by the recent (and not so recent) events happening back home while I am here in the land of sand. More importantly the issue about non-muslim citizens being threatened by one of our ‘esteemed’ ministers is extremely disturbing. Sick also I am about non-muslims citizens treated like second-class citizens. A few quotes which irked me:

Non-Muslims should not interfere in the religious affairs of Muslims, as this will make the Muslims uneasy.

How the heck does questioning something related to Islam make Muslims uneasy? And should we not ‘interfere’ in something that directly affects us? Especially the act which denies us the right of a fair trial in civil courts should be have converted into Islam. It’s not like we have been ‘interfering’ with what Muslims have been practising but isn’t it fair for us to question something that will directly affect our lives?

… warned that the Government would not hesitate to use the Sedition Act against those who insulted Islam.

So is it only Islam or will this apply to any other religion? Not that I agree to prosecuting anyone, but if you want to make a statement like that, then does it apply to all insults on any religion? Or like the double-standard way you govern, it only applies to whatever you want? Another point is how does questioning something become an insult? How does questioning an Act turn into an insult? Unless of course you’re thinking of the MPs we have in the Dewan Rakyat who do not think twice about shouting and hurling derogatory insults, then of course, questioning is insulting.

Expressing his concern about some recent articles written by non-Muslims, he said the tolerance level among Muslims was high.

Eh? Tolerance level among Muslims high? Then why would you think questioning something is an insult? And why would you think calling for a review and reform is an insult? Hallo? Why would everything related to Islam be an insult? If you’re talking tolerance, what about the tolerance level among non-muslims? Why not address that in the same breath?

“We do not want to take away your rights but religion is an important matter, especially to the Muslims,” he said.

Oh, so now religion is only important to Muslims? What about devout Christians, Buddhists, Hindus etc? Religion not so important, eh?

He said there was also no need to have a law to curb open discussions as the people could practise mutual respect, tolerance and understanding while taking into consideration religious sensitivities.

What the…? In the first few paragraphs, he threatens non-Muslims and then suddenly preaches about mutual respect, tolerance and understanding? Firstly, I think all of us are currently practicing tolerance, respect and understanding. Some more than others thanks to self-righteous pricks who first threaten us then tell us we’re tolerant. Secondly, I think the group of people which you call on to be tolerant are those whom you CLAIM are so tolerant that they’re bleeding tolerance out of their ears.
Again, this shows us the level of intelligence our esteemed ministers have. They really should learn to process before shooting out of their mouths. But then again, if there’s nothing much up there, then it’s no wonder.

Next comes this whole issue of wearing the ‘tudung’ for non-muslim women police officers during official parades. When I read this, the first thought that popped into my head was “Why the heck for?” And how does the ‘tudung’ translate into part of the police uniform? How does making a woman wear a ‘tudung’ add to uniformity? Oh wait, everyone’s head is now covered so it looks very uniformed. There’s Malaysian mentality for you. The worse part is that the non-muslim women featured in the article said the regulation should not be questioned. Again, Malaysian mentality. The take all the bullcrap that is handed down and sit down and shut up. Not that I’m a religious person, but isn’t the ‘tudung’ part of Islam where the women folk have to cover their hair? So how does that apply to uniformity? Why impose something religion-based onto those who are not part of that religion? This comes back to the IIU ‘tudung’ incident as well. If we’re practicing freedom of religion (to some extent) then why impose a uniform rule which is religion-based?
Anyway, more stuff did I read about IPMC, APs etc. I found the notion of the govt re-educating AP holders highly amusing. The last time I checked, these AP holders are already very rich businessmen made richer by the APs and certainly do not need our poorly managed govt re-educating them on how to make money. Unless it’s a course on how they can siphon more money from the govt. Then, I’m sure they’ll be very interested in your re-education.
Can’t upload the photos I took with my camera. Silly me. I brought the docking station for the camera but didn’t bring the usb cable to connect the dock to the laptop.

Interesting...

The land of cheap petrol and sand

Here I am, back again. Everyone I meet here goes "oh... you're back again..." ^_^ Chee... Anyway, I've been moved from the conference room to an office of my own. WooHoo. Better than back home! I now have my own room. Feels like I'm permanently working here. Will try to sneak some shots of the office.

Facing the same hurdles here. Trying to get in touch with these people is so hard! I don't know if they're conciously avoiding me or what. I mean, they're all very nice. But it's so hard to secure some time with them. Bleh... and sometimes, I'm also chicken shit... coz I feel like I've been 'in their face' too much... but that's what I have to do! Since being polite and nice and waiting for them to get back to me isn't working!

Note to self: must be more assertive.

Will wait for another hour to try calling these people again. Probably having lunch since it's lunchtime (duh!).

1 month hiatus

Ever since I found out that I’ll be returning to Bahrain in 2 weeks time, everything has been rather chaotic. And when I mean chaotic, I don’t mean my work but rather stuff has been happening between us and we’ve been arguing a lot.

I’m kinda feeling a bit tired of all this. Our ‘night n day’ working times is putting a huge strain on us. Is it wrong of me to spend as much as time as possible with him since I will be away for a whole month next week onwards?

He said he will stay at my place for the whole week after work. But now, since we spent the weekend together, he said he doesn’t have to anymore? Huh? Why must the 2 things relate to each other? I was assuming that they were mutually exclusive. But I’m not upset that he’s not staying with me considering his mobility problems. I’m just upset at why he can’t call or sms me to let me know that he isn’t coming. And I rushed myself yesterday to duplicate a set of keys for him, thinking that he was still coming over to my place.

I admit that I expressed myself poorly last night and made it seem as if I was upset at him not coming and not at him not calling. And then after our argument, I get an sms from him which was rather upsetting. The gist of it was this:
(a) he doesn’t spend as much time with his family as should because of me
(b) he should have just gone to PD over the weekend as planned instead of hanging out with me
(c) he has his work to worry about which is more important than staying with me

When I read the sms, I was just stumped.

(a) I don’t spend as much as time with my family as well ever since I’m with him. But I don’t go pointing my finger at him and say it’s his fault. I CHOOSE to stay back with him. And even though my choice is obviously because of him, it wouldn’t be fair for me to blame him for not going back home. Because it obviously isn’t his fault. It’s MY choice. So I found it really unfair for him to suddenly point his finger at me and say ‘it’s your fault I’m spending so little time at home’. WTF?!?
(b) Again, this boils down to choice. If under normal circumstances, by all means, go drinking with your buddies. But the difference this time is that I will be going away in a week’s time for a whole month. Obviously I would want him to spend the weekend with me. And I told him how I felt about it, but inevitably, the choice was his. Again like (a) it would have been influenced by me, but still, his choice. And if he had chosen to go, then it would have summarized where our relationship is. But he chose to stay with me and now suddenly, it’s my fault?
(c) Yes, worry about work. And because of his mobility problem, I admit that it was my fault for overreacting. And I understand why he was feeling down last night. But I overreacted because he didn’t tell me he wasn’t coming and I had to call him to find out. And it was already 5 am at that time. Of course I was cranky.

And so I didn’t reply his sms because I was upset and I knew that I would say something that would worsen the situation. But I couldn’t sleep after that and was tossing and turning for over an hour plus. From that sms, I derived that his family comes first, friends second, work third and then me. After all, his exact words were “you’re just my girlfriend, that’s all”. Obviously family comes first. But what about friends and work? Shouldn’t there be some sort of balance? I know we’ve tried to achieve some sort of balance so why suddenly turn around and put me at the bottom of the list? I’m the only person he can say “no” to. With everyone else, it’s “sure, I’m there”. Does that not scream taking me for granted?

I think it’s time for him to think about where he wants to be in terms of us. Hitting the 2-year mark with him was great and I obviously would want to still be with him, but if it means having to go through the same things again to hit another 2 years, then I don’t know if I want to do that. I don’t know if I’m up to it. Challenges I can take. But the same obstacles again and again?

So where do we go from here? I don’t know. Even though this mess right now is caused by my going away, I’m glad that I will be gone. I think it’s time for us, or at least me, to take a break from all this. I’m tired of arguing about the same things over and over again. I’m tired of having to justify my feelings when we argue. I’m tired of explaining myself over and over again and for him to not understand what being in a relationship means. I’m tired of having to sacrifice so many things for him and not having the same being done for me. I’m tired of being the one to always call or sms. I’m just tired.

I’m glad I’m going away. At least it will give us some time apart (even though we’ve been apart for weeks at a time since November). We’ll see how things go after this. Tired, tired, tired.

Looking forward to this:


London, here I come! It'd be a great break from the monotony of Bahrain and the chaos of KL.

Okay, bye bye

It’s been a week since I’ve been back in Malaysia. Have stuffed myself with all types of yummy food, from good ole’ bak kut teh to banana leaf rice. Yum… I can’t believe that I’ll be flying back to Bahrain next week. I mean, I knew I would be going back but just didn’t think that it was going to be so soon. I thought I’d have at least one month to chill here. But no… came in to work on Monday morning all smiles and BHAM! I got called into my director’s office and she told me the ‘good’ news. Oh well. All in the name of work. So I technically only have 2 working weeks and one weekend before my flight out. The highlight of this trip would be the little holiday I will be taking when I’m in Bahrain. Will update more of this trip once I’ve gotten my flight ticket. Right now, it still feels a little too hard to believe. Why didn’t I find this out earlier! Damn! I could have gone to so many other places! Anyway, am supposed to get my ticket on Monday. Keeping my fingers crossed till then!

Anyway, there are still people griping about the fuel price hike but I think we’re all kind of resigned to the fact that it’s happened and there’s nothing we can do about it right now except maybe hope that the govt will actually stick to their word about improving the public transportation system. And that we, the public, will remember this thing as well as all the other things they have done when the time comes for the next general elections.

Then there’s the news about rape and incest cases. For me, the one that really stood out was the case where two brothers raped their younger sister after watching porn. I was like “WTF?!” If you’re going to offer an excuse for committing rape, at least give a better one than that. But then again, what kind of excuse CAN you give for raping your sister or anyone for that matter?! Anyway, I’m pretty sure after this case, there’s going to cries of “porn is evil” etc all over. What I don’t understand is why we can’t be open about sex and sexuality? Why do we have to hide the subject away and censure everything related about it? Again, this points to our attitude of ‘ignorance is bliss’, ‘better not to talk about it since I’m so uncomfortable about it’ etc. Sigh… somehow, it’s just so sad when you hear of incest rape cases… if you can’t trust your family, who else CAN you trust?

All I can think of right now is how much will the public remember when the time comes to vote? Will we then forget all the past mis-deeds when we hear their empty promises come election time or will we still vigilantly hold on to our opinions and feelings when they continuously mess up. Will we hold them accountable for what they’ve done and to want more transparency? Or will we once again succumb to their sweet words and empty promises which works time and time again? Will the blogosphere change our attitude towards accepting these kind of deeds or will we continue to bend over and accept everything and anything they do? Will we demand for a more transparent govt and a more accountable govt?

I’m just hoping that when the time comes, we will do the thing that matters.

$&%**$*@*@#&

I forgot to blog about this when I found out about the petrol price increase. Cibai. 30 sen increase. The increment in my salary won't be enough to cover the price hike. And we're not only talking about petrol. Everything will go up! Mahai. Why didn't the Govt at least announce this first before dumping this policy on us? I'm not saying they should continue subsidising petrol indefinitely, but at least do lar some proper announcement and they should have done it at the end of last year. They would have known how much oil prices would be and should have announced last year so that the public (US!) would have time to plan for the next year. And companies would be able to increase our salary much more! The govt really should put a mandate on companies that all salary increment should reflect at least petrol price hikes. Cibai. Damn pissed off. And don't talk to me about car-pooling and public transport. Yeah, it's a swell idea if you've got people colleagues staying nearby or your housing area has easily accessible public transport. But what if you don't? Take for example, me. None of my colleagues are nearby so car-pooling is out of the question. Besides, our working hours aren't exactly so fixed that we all come and leave at the same time. There are no bus stops / lrt stations / ktm stations near my place OR my office so there's really no chance for me to even think of using public transport. So what now? I have to drive lar, rite! Cibai. And don't give me this crap that the money saved from the subsidies will be put to development projects and improving public transportation. More like the money saved will line your pockets even more! What a load of bull-crap. You have local councils going to South Africa and Australia for field trips and you tell us you want to save money for the good of the general public. Cibai. Going to South Africa for a study on toilets?!?!?! Going to Sydney to learn how to plant flowers?!?!?! Hello!?!? The fucker who approved these visits must have had his ass as his head. Motherfuckers. We, the public, are not stupid. Well, not all that stupid anyway. Yes, we understand the rationale behind lifting the subsidy. But like I said earlier, why was there no prior announcement? Or did some minister just think, 'Hmm... 28th February is an auspicious date... let's raise petrol prices!'. Cibai. You would think with 90 plus ministers in the Cabinet, one of them would have brains. I applaud our PM's efforts in wanting to eradicate corruption and whatever else he announced when he got the position but so far, it's all just been talk. We still have cibai local councils going on 'study trips', we still have cracks in major highways which can and will endanger our lives, we still have 'consultants' being hired to do menial things and being paid shit loads, and the list goes on. Cibai. I just can't stop saying Cibai. And then I just read that civil servants have to go on a 3-month training course to improve services. Eh? WTF? Who's going to pay for those courses? US!!! Hello, it doesn't take a genius to know that the only way to improve services is for them (civil servants) to actually work instead of taking coffee / tea breaks all the time. Why have 4 counters if only 1 counter is going to be manned? And the person manning it doesn't know shit most of the time!?!?! Then, the govt also wants all civil servants to sit for SPM english papers to improve their english. Eh? Again, WTF? No doubt I think this is important but we're not asking for our civil servants to have perfect english with no grammatical errors. I think we're more than happy if they speak broken english but are efficient. Bloody hell. Cibai fuckers.

So what now? We, M'sians, can complain to the Govt till Kingdom comes and there will still be no change. See lar... vote lar for the same party again! Cibai. And don't give me this bull-crap about how the other parties are un-tested etc. Hello, if we don't give them a chance, then they will ALWAYS be un-tested. What a Catch-22.

I would seriously like to know how our govt works. How each ministry functions. Because it just seems that there is no planning involved in anything. Everything just seems to be thrown together haphazardly. Cibai.

After everything that's happening back home, the thought of accepting the job offer here seems more and more tempting. After all, at least over here, petrol price is cheap, pay is good (tax-free!), things seem to be efficient (but could be deceiving), and... pay is good. :) Time to give this serious thought...

Cibai!

By your side

So many things happening in the world. So many issues being discussed in blogs and forums. So many thoughts running through my head on some of these issues.

Tolerance. Unity. Objectivity. I believe these 3 things are essential in the world we’re living in today.

I stumbled upon this issue of a forum being asked to remove a sensitive topic discussing the cartoon debacle merely because a few people who posted stuff in the forum were offensive. So what’s the usual “Malaysian” way of dealing with sensitive topics? Sweep it under the carpet and forbid people from talking about it. After all, ignorance is bliss, right? To a certain extent, yes, ignorance is bliss. But in today’s world, you can’t afford to be ignorant. You can’t keep living under the coconut shell and ignore everything else that’s happening outside. We also can’t give the excuse that we’re not ready to deal with these things. Well, if we never deal with these things, then we’re never going to be ready. Sweeping things under the rug doesn’t help things. Suppressing what we think and feel isn’t going to make us progress. Not talking about sensitive things doesn’t mean they will magically disappear. It doesn’t mean that we’re ‘tolerant’. We just have to buck up and face the issue head on. Just like everyone else.

Why must discussing the issue of a certain religion be sensitive? And mind you, I’m talking about proper discussions and not derogatory comments that say you will go to hell if you don’t follow a certain way. And why must we be extra sensitive when it comes to a particular religion? After all, we’re not dissing Islam or Muslims in any way. If it’s just a discussion about world issues that is centred on the above topics, do we not have that right to talk about these things?

Frankly speaking, it’s really just our country that seems to want to prove themselves to be more Muslim than others. Trying to hard, I would have to say. Why do we equate race to religion? Why do you HAVE to be Muslim if you’re Malay? I think this is something that has been meshed together for so long that we think being Muslim and being Malay is one and the same. Well, they’re not. Why is it that only our country has this law that dictates what religion you believe in because you’re of this race? Why is it that only our country has a law that says a non-Muslim who marries a Muslim HAS to convert? Shouldn’t conversion to any religion be because of faith and belief? Not forced? Why is it that only our country says that once we’re into Islam, we can’t change our faith? There are plenty of Arab-Christians other Muslims countries. Their laws don’t say that if you’re born an Arab, you HAVE to believe in Islam. I just feel that our country is trying too hard to prove that they’re more Muslim than others.

I had a lot more things to say but I went for a meeting and I’ve forgotten what I originally wanted to type. Damn. Short-term memory loss.

Anyway, with everything that’s happening, this small country I’m in feels much safer and more tolerant than home.

On a totally separate note, have been listening to Sade’s ‘By Your Side’. Beautiful song. Makes me appreciate the people who love me and support me unconditionally. Thank you. And shouldn't everyone just appreciate the things around them instead of fighting?

SADE - By Your Side
You think i'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you want
And if only you could see into me
Ha ah ah ah ah ah

Oh when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
When you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in
I will show you you're so much better than you know
When you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
I will find you darling and i will bring you home
And if you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes
And in no time
You'll be fine

You think i'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think id leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you want
And if only you could see into me
Ha ah ah ah ah ah

Oh when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
When you're low
I'll be there
By your side baby

Oh when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
Oh when you're low
I'll be there by your side baby

Homesick

I always thought of myself as the type who can stay anywhere in the world. Well, looks like I was dead wrong! I've been in Bahrain for a total of (2 + 2 + 2 + 3 weeks) 9 weeks now and I'm seriously suffering. It's not a bad place. Really. It's peaceful. Crime rate is low. Food is cheap. But it's just not home.

The thing I miss the most is the food. Besides the usual fare of Indian and Arabic food, I can't get anything that resembles food from home. And i'm talking about basic stuff like Hokkien Mee :) Or even decent fried rice. Everything 'chinese' here still tastes like Indian food. And that's because the chefs are all Indian nationals. The only thing resembling food i can get back home is stuff i cook myself. And i'm not a good cook. So i'm basically limited to very simple things. Another problem is vegetables. Basically the only type of greens i'm eating is in the form of salads. Lettuce. Carrots. Cucumber (yucks!). Tomatoes. I want Sawi! I want Kangkung! I want Kai Lan stir fried with garlic! :(

It's not like being in UK or US or Aussie where (a) you understand the language everyone speaks in, (b) you get your fair share of other Asians around and (c) it's super easy to get the type of food you want. Over here, I don't have (a) and (c). As for (b), there are only Indian nationals and Pinoys. And i still get stares.

For me, I think the hardest part(s) about being here is (1) the food and (2) the language. Language is not exactly a barrier since everyone can speak english but they'll be babbling away in their language and you're left to wonder what the hell are they saying and if they're commenting anything bad about you.

Of course there are other factors like cultural differences - asking questions like "Are you married?" / "Do you have a boyfriend?" seem to be alrite. Practically everyone I've met from the people in the client's place to the taxi driver(!) have asked me questions like that.

I want my char siew rice, pork noodles, hokkien mee, nasi lemak, roti canai, bak kut teh, chicken rice, char koay teow, leafy vegetables, sweet and sour pork, etc...

Damn funny

I watched this video clip in the office and was trying really hard to keep a straight face. The link to the video:

http://www.youtube.com/?v=dUto_zdvb90

Rants

Goodness. Another cartoon controversy. C’mon people. Have a sense of humour. The cartoon published by the NST was not even close to offending Islam and their Prophet. I actually thought it was pretty funny. With all the violence that’s been happening in other parts of the world, I don’t think it was bad taste at all for NST to have published a cartoon which looks at the controversy with a humorous air. If you can’t find humour in anything, then we might as well all be caught up in the violence and start rioting ourselves. I really think it’s important for people to take a step back and actually think about what’s going on. Actually think about what they’re doing. Actually being able to laugh at themselves. Why must we always portray ourselves as being so self-righteous all the time that what everyone else says, thinks and does is always wrong? Yes, there are always things people don’t agree upon but that’s just part of being in a world with so many different kinds of people. Why can’t people just take things with a pinch of salt?
Do I think the original cartoons published were offensive to Islam? Yes, I do. Do I think that the newspapers that printed them should not have re-printed them? Yes, I do. Do I think the newspapers should apologise to all Muslims? Yes, I do. Do I think the people who reacted to the cartoons by protesting with violence and burning is wrong? Yes, I do.
There’s always such a thing called moderation and the in-between. Alright, so you’ve published the cartoons and suddenly everyone is angry about it. Is it so hard to say I’m sorry? So some newspaper has published some cartoons that make you feel offended. Is it so hard to stop and think a while and maybe even finding humour in the situation? Is it so hard to voice your opinion via proper means rather than burning buildings, flags, effigies, cars, etc?
The Muslims say they’re misunderstood and why are they being discriminated against. So is their way of correcting this situation is by being violent. What a great way to portray yourselves of peace-loving people.
Found an interesting article in Yahoo. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucac/20060209/cm_ucac/calvinandhobbesandmuhammad
I just feel that people need to deal with issues objectively. Especially controversial issues like these which affect the whole world. And this comic in NST? I still think it’s funny. And how is it offensive? I don’t know. Apparently the people who are offended by it and have filed police reports against the NST have not exactly explained how it is offensive towards Muslims. So maybe it was bad timing to publish the cartoon when the whole world is heated up. But being able to laugh is the first step in decreasing the tension. If you keep talking about it or try to suppress the issue, it’d still come back and bite you in the ass. I was also pretty surprised that Jeff Ooi would actually play up the issue by accusing NST of having some sort of ‘udang di sebalik batu’. Oh well, he might have some personal issues as well. Everyone has their own opinion.
I just read about the protest which will happen on 3 March. Another protest. Apparently coordinated worldwide. Question: what are they trying to achieve from protesting? To get the world to agree with them that it was wrong for the newspapers to have published the cartoons? Wait… hasn’t the world already agreed with them? So… what is it these people are looking for? Looks like I’ll actually be safer in Bahrain. Have been here for 3 weeks now and no mention of any protests. Unlike my poor colleagues in Pakistan. Anyway, why can’t everyone be moderate like the Bahrainis? I applaud these people for being the moderate Muslims that everyone is talking about.
Have got so many thoughts on stuff I’ve been reading online.
The racial profiling of Malaysians who apparently take drugs in clubs.
Heck, what the hell is the racial profiling for? So that some racist fuck can point fingers and say “Haha… you Chinese druggies”? So much for Bangsa Malaysia. Aren’t we all supposed to be tackling social problems as a nation? Hello! Bangsa Malaysia? Not Bangsa Cina Malaysia, okay! If race is so important, then why do I keep telling people that I’m Malaysian? I might as well tell people I’m Malaysian Chinese. Or better yet, just Chinese. After all, that’s what my government views me as. Not as a Malaysian.

Damn… This post is pretty jumbled. Basically just jotting down whatever comes to mind first.

I want to go home to my friends and family.

OMG!

Update:
The Head of Operations just sat with me for 30 minutes trying to convince me to accept their offer of a job here. This is so tempting. Not only will the work be interesting but the financial gains will definitely be triplefold of what I'm getting now. Not to mention the prospect of their high bonuses every year. Not only that but the exposure I would be getting will definitely get me better opportunities in the future.

Hmm....

Flying with the wind

I've decided to let certain things that bug me fly with the strong wind that's been blowing across Bahrain for the past few days. I've decided if these things bug me and there's nothing more I can do from my part, why worry? Why let it continue to bug me? I've treid countless times to let him know that it bugs me and that I would appreciate it if he could do as I ask. I don't think it's too much to ask for an sms everyday considering we are currently so far away. But since it seems to be so difficult, I might as well let it go rather than let it bother me and nag him which makes the both of us unhappy at the end. There are also a few other things which I've decided to let go of which I shall not go into details as they are rather personal and also am too lazy at the moment to type them all out.

I decided this when walking across the mini-desert from my apartment to the supermarket. Seriously, I call it the mini-desert because it's just an empty piece of land filled with sand in front of my apartment. I really should start snapping photos. I keep forgetting. Anyway, I suppose that land belongs to some rich Arab who just hasn't decided what he should build on it. Notice I said he because it most probably is a he. Hard to explain but all the rich business people are still men. There are hardly any women in top positions here. Most of the women in the working world quit after they get married and have kids. Anyway, I digress. Was going to talk about the wind. Me being me, I walked out of the apartment building with just my t-shirt and lazy pants since the weather previously was warm and pleasant. Little did I know that the wind decided to swoop in. And even after stepping outside with the wind happily blowing, stubborn (lazy?) me decided to walk to the supermarket anyway without going back in the apartment to grab a sweater. Wrong decision. I also decided to cut across the mini-desert instead of going by the road. After all, the shortest distance between two places is a straight line. So there I was, braving the wind, walking across the desert. Shit. The wind was so strong that it nearly blew me off my feet. I could literally feel the wind pushing me from the sides, the back and the front! And I'm not exactly feather-weight. Imagine anyone skinnier than me. They would have been flying across the desert already. Plus, the wind blew up the sand. So not only was I being abused by the wind, I also had grains of sand pelting me. Nice... Imagine my joy and happiness when I finally reached the shelter of the supermarket. I almost felt like camping out in the store until the wind dropped a bit. But then I was already hanging out between the aisles for so long, the workers were starting to give me funny looks. The walk back was even worse. Because I was laden down with so many packages, I couldn't walk very fast. Decided to take the long route back which I suppose was better since I didn't have grains of sand abusing me. But the wind decided to pick up and my plastic bags were in danger of flying out of my hands and I was also in danger of toppling over. Oh, how strong the blasted wind was. By the time I reached the apartment lobby, I looked like I just rolled around in the sand. My hair was a mess and I looked dusty. Bleh.

So anyway, that's the story of my battle with the wind. And how I decided to let everything go and let them fly with the wind.

It's a boring Sunday in the office and I'm just writing my wind story because that's about the only interesting thing that happened to me over the weekend. Besides the fact that my attempt to cook me some vegetable soup didn't turn out too right. And my attempts to do some exercises also didn't turn out too well either. But hey, at least I managed to do some abdominal crunches everyday so far. Am hoping to keep that up so that at least I won't feel so guilty for having bought that tub of Sara Lee's ice-cream and packet of strawberries to go with the ice-cream. Also that packet of buttery light Marks & Spencers biscuits that go so well with milk as a snack. Yum. But then again, I would give all that up (maybe not the strawberries) for a plate of chicken rice & char siew. Or maybe a bowl of pork noodles. Or Hokkien Mee. Or good ole nasi lemak. Or a bowl of tom yam soup. Okay, the list goes on. And I'm already beginning to drool.

Another 2 weeks here. Before I go back for a few days, binge on yummy Malaysian food then fly back here again for another 2 months. There's a project in Bangkok which I might be able to be on it if the stint here finishes in April. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Take a deep breath...

Aah..... the weekend is here... i can take a deep breath and chill for 2 whole days without thinking of work at all. The past week has been so crammed with meetings and work that I hardly had time to think about the next steps and what I have to do next. So why have I suddenly become so busy? Well, my manager was here for the past week and we tried to cram as many meetings we could. Plus, I suddenly had to rush things for her so she could review them before she leaves. Plus, a lot of other things which I shall refrain from mentioning in case it gets back to me later and bites my ass.

Have been going out for dinner with my boss for the past 2 nights. Spent Valentine's day with her. Hehe. How romantic for the both of us. Anyway, bought some fabulous cookies and cereal from Marks & Spencers. Yummy. Imagine having cereal with real strawberries. Bought more undies from M&S again. :) I'm set for at least the next 5 years with the amount of undies I bought! Zara was on sale! But unfortunately, I couldn't find anything. Looked real hard to find something I could buy... but nothing caught my eye. At least not the ones I could afford. Damn.

A bit of an update. Looks like I'm going to be in Bahrain for a tad bit longer than planned. More like another 2 months. Possibly. Maybe more. Will have to get into the details of implementation and making sure the project kicks off. Plus, offered a job by the client :) In fact, the whole team who's been here have been offered jobs. Very tempting... but how do you jump up and down and say "yes!" when you were offered the job infront of your boss? :) Heehee. Anyway, the client wouldn't be an easy person to work for. It's different when you're the outside consultant. But if you're directly under him... hmm... think again. Loads of politics here. Anyway, with the extension over here, I won't be on any different project. And I thought I would be in one of the risk jobs for Bangkok or Pakistan since there are no more Strategy jobs in the pipeline. Oh well. Looks like I might as well specialise in the line I'm working on now.

It's almost going home time! Yay! I feel so tired. My eyes ache. My head is filled with things I need to do for next week. My Monday next week is fully booked with meetings. Plus need to prepare presentation slides for a proposal meeting back in KL for my boss. Bleh... Loads of things to do. But I'm not going to think about any of those right now. Am just going to go back, draw myself a nice hot bath, have my dinner and plonk myself in front of the tv for the rest of the night. Heehee. Oh ya, the client offered me their corporate membership at the Ritz-Carlton spa. Told me to go pamper myself. Haha. Sounds lovely. I could do with a bit of pampering.

Cheers to the weekend!

Big problems, small issues

I get upset too easily. And when I'm upset, I sometimes say things that I don't mean or that I know I wouldn't say if I was calm. But then these things get said, and I would be regretting saying them.

I'm reading about what's happening in the world right now, and I feel so small. The problems I face everyday are so trivial when you read about the violent riots, the fights in the middle east, the nuclear issue in Iran etc.

I'm feeling extremely small right now. And I'm regretting telling him what I did. What if it backfires in my face? I HAVE to calm myself down before I do / say anything. I don't understand why and how I can be the calm and reasonable person I am at work but when it comes to matters of my family and him, my mouth just shoots off the first thing that comes into my head.

As a wise sista of mine quoted, "It's easy to take advantage of the ones we love most".

And I have to admit, both of us have been guilty of taking each other for granted in this 2-plus year relationship. I can't count the times when we have had arguements about the same things over and over again. And somehow, it's always me who ends up being the 'bad' person. Because it's always me who can't keep her mouth and brain working together. It's always me whose mouth decides to say something before consulting the brain. So, in an arguement, it's always me who looks bad. Sigh...

What do you do when your fights are always revolving around the same thing? He says A, I say B, he won't change his A to my B, and I won't change my B to his A. There should be something in between A and B which we can achieve. And I would have liked to think that we had already found that 'in-between' but once in a while, that 'in-between' place crumbles and we're back to square 1.

Sometimes it's not about him or me but just about the situation and environment that we're in. Our working environments just clash so much that sometimes, it's unbearable. Actually, not unbearable. More like annoying and frustrating because there's nothing the both of us can do. I've told him and myself that I will and have to accept that fact and will try to work ourselves around this.

Big sigh... I feel so small. Honestly, I'm glad that I'm in Bahrain right now as at least it gives me time to be with myself and not needing to meet anyone's expectations (besides work). I've escaped here. And hopefully when my time here is up, I would have found the strength to be the person that I want to be.

The week after CNY whizzed by like nobody’s business. I came back from Bahrain just before CNY, went back home to Penang for the holidays, then bham! Time to start work again. My time in Bahrain was so relaxed as I only had to work on one project. So when I went back to work in KL, I was hit with so much more things to do besides the current Bahrain project and a whole lot of other admin things to do. Had to work on a proposal, slides for a presentation for a proposal, to come up with a strategy map for an internal project and more deliverables for the Bahrain project. Bleh… I have no idea what I did during the week so I’m just trying to recap my days….

Monday

Back to work after really long break… Obviously not in much mood to work :) Was still quite relaxed as bosses have not caught up with their emails yet hence no extra work yet. After lunch, got a few emails from boss to do this and do that. Deadline: end of Thursday. Aiya! Die la! Still had some time… so of course I procrastinated.
Didn’t bring my phone charger back from Penang… so had to leave work around 6 plus to meet my friend in OUG who brought my charger back from Penang for me. Was stuck on the road for 1 hour plus and finally reached home at 8 something. Met Syl for dinner so when I finally got home to shower and all, it was already 10 plus. Tiring!

Tuesday

Started on some of the new work and pushed aside work for Bahrain project. Had to go shopping during lunch time for the gift exchange thing during company party on Friday night. 7 of us bought thongs for the guys we’re giving the gifts to…hehehe… and to top it up, we put a condom in each box. Funny!
Met Ju for dinner at Chili’s and tried to answer her questions as much as I could to help her and David out.
Went back to Botak’s house after dinner and lamed the rest of the night away watching Astro.

Wednesday

Was in a discussion with my boss for practically the whole day about the Bahrain project. How to get any work done?!

Was also Zub’s birthday but we pretended we didn’t know and snuck out during lunch to buy a cake for him. Managed to keep it from him and went for drinks as a cover-line when he was stuck with the boss. Surprised him with the cake and all. We attached a little baby doll to the cake since he’s the youngest and we call him Baby Zub.

Cute baby, huh?















Rushed back as had a Chinese New Year dinner with the Voices bunch courtesy of my dear housemate, Bots :) Lots of good food and good company. Dinner was at a restaurant in Puchong. There were 16 of us squeezed at a table meant for 12. Lots of bumping elbows action.

Anyway, as pure CNY custom, the dinner started out with good ole Yee Sang. Lots of chopstick action and bits of yee sang flying here and there thanks to vigorous and enthusiastic ‘lou-sang-ing’. Lots of wishes for good things to happen. After that, came the rest of the dishes. It was very surprising to see all the dishes coming out at the same time. There was asparagus, kampong chicken, fish, prawns, claypot taufu, roast duck and a vegetable dish called ‘4 Heavenly Kings’ which consisted of petai, French beans, ladies fingers and long beans. The food was really really yummy especially the roast duck but the problem was all the dishes were served at once! So it was like sitting at the already full table and not enough room for the dishes. So the waiters kept taking the dishes away to put them into smaller plates and then taking other dishes away to make space for new dishes. It just felt rushed and chaotic. I felt like I had to stuff my face with everything I could get before the dish was taken away. And that was exactly what I did.
We decided to adjourn somewhere else for a drink after the dinner and off we went. Caught up with the latest gossip and happenings with the sistas. By the time I got home, it was already 1 am. Aah!

Thursday

More meetings and discussions. More work to do! Left work pretty late and then just lamed at home doing more work and watching the Grammy’s.
Packed up my stuff for trip back to Bahrain.

Friday

Rushed to finish pending work. More discussions. More meetings.
Left office in a rush to make it on time to the company party in the heart of KL. Got stuck in the jam for 1 hour plus! To add on to the stress, my fuel tank was almost empty and I was chanting mantras to not get stuck as my boss was in my car! Reached the party in a foul mood (thanks to the jam) and just started on the drinks. Hehe. Was a fun party and had quite a good time laughing at people.
Left KL around 12:30 am to go back to the office to collect my stuff then rushed home to shower and pack somemore.

Saturday

Whole day spent on the plane. By the time I reached Bahrain, my ass felt flat and my back felt like it was going to break into two. Bleh. There were 2 cute French kids sitting next to me on the plane. Didn't understand a word they were blabbing to each other and their parents but it's so cute listening to 2 blonde little kids speaking French.

Sunday (today)

Back at the client’s place. As always, feeling a bit disoriented and blur as to where to start. Thought I’d start by confirming meetings but the people I’m supposed to meet are not around (as usual). So decided to blog instead. Tee-hee. It’s going to be a long 2 weeks and 5 days.

More rants...

Forgot to complain about these 2 girls who are also from the B office but on a different assignment. Anyway, these girls are also sharing the room. They come in at about 9 am and right up till they leave at 4:30 pm, they chat non-stop. They’ll be talking and giggling and since I’m right next to them, you can imagine what I’m going through. The girl that I’m next to is very much like the typical bimbo. She seems to be more interested in chatting, making phone calls and texting on her mobile than doing actual work. And she’s pretty rude in the sense that she’ll just plonk her files and papers next to me and take up my space, occasionally knocking into me. The other girl, is like the sidekick. The not so pretty friend who tags along and agrees with everything the friend says. They’re not as bad as the auditors but sometimes, I think they talk about me (not like I give a rat’s ass) coz they’ll yap in Arabic, glance at me, then continue yapping. Not like I’m bothered about what they’re saying. It’s just the constant yapping that I can’t stand.

Anyway, I was talking to Sylvia the other day, and she mentioned that the reason why it’s annoying is because I’m alone and have no one to converse with. Yes, that is so true. I suppose, if I was in their position I would be talking to. Not as loud and I definitely won’t be as messy and rude but yes, I will be talking. But I’m still sticking to my stance that these bunch of people I've met are just plain weird and rude. And annoying as hell.

One more day in this hell hole. Hopefully when I return these people would have vanished.

Annoyed...

Need to vent. Badly.

I’m typing this post on my injured laptop. Why is it injured? Because some idiot cracked the LCD screen and now my screen has got rainbow colours at the side, white stripes across the bottom half of my screen and the whole bottom part where the taskbar is located is completely obscured. Which idiot cracked my screen? I don’t know who, but it’d definitely one of the auditors who are sharing the conference room with me. I’m really really annoyed. Not only are they loud, obnoxious and do not value other people’s personal space, they broke my laptop and didn’t mention a word to me. But then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t even realise that it’s broken. That’s how blur they are. How they can be auditors, I don’t know. The room that we’re in just nice for 6 people. There’s me, 4 of the damn auditors and another 2 girls from another team doing some other work. The damn auditors have taken up practically the whole room leaving only a small space for the rest of us. Their files and papers are everywhere. Not only are they covering the entire surface of the table, but also covering nearly all of the floor as well. So annoying! And they don’t bother clearing their stuff after every working day. They stay at the office until much later so by the time I go home, they will utilise my space as well. That’s fine. But at least have the courtesy to clear up when you finish! The next morning when I come in, my space will have their stuff! Either a laptop or their files or their papers. Annoying shits! And I don’t know why they can’t throw their rubbish away. They’ll just leave empty water bottles, used tissues and half-empty juice boxes on the table. And the rubbish bin is just a few feet away! Is it really so hard to throw your own rubbish? And they talk really loudly among themselves. Which I don’t understand why. It’s not like they’re far away from each other. And they talk non-stop, from the time they come in till I leave the office. The talking I can still take. It’s the bloody mess that I can’t stand. And the fact that they don’t clean up after themselves. And when I shift their stuff in the morning, they give me this look like “Why did I touch their things?” Well, when you encroach on my space, I obviously have to move your stuff to put my things on the table! I should take a photo of the mess when they’re not around. It’s unbelievable. Imagine laptops, loose papers, pens, files, tissue boxes, a phone, empty water bottles, juice boxes, used tissues strewn all over the table. Then, add 3 Indian auditors and 1 Bahraini dude into the picture. Next, turn up the volume to the max to hear them talking. That’s what I have here. Plus, they’re really slow too. Example of one conversation:

A (Bahraini dude): I have a meeting with the head of Liquidity Management at 12 to discuss about the Murabaha investments.
B (Indian guy) : What?
A: (repeats) I have a meeting with the Liquidity Management guy at 12.
B: (pauses for a long while) Who?
A: The head of Liquidity Management. Mr XX.
B: (another long pause) What time?
A: At 12.
B: (another pause) Why are you meeting him?
A: To discuss about the Murabaha investments.
B: (pauses… again!) [Note: at this point, I feel like shouting at B] Who are you meeting again?
A: Mr XX. The head of Liquidity Management.
B: Is he the head?
A: Yes.
B: Are you sure?
A: Yes.
B: What time are you going?
A: At 12.
B: (looks at his laptop, looks up, scratches his head) Why are you meeting him?

OMG!!! And I did not exaggerate the above. That was exactly what happened. I don’t know what happened after that because I just couldn’t stand it anymore and went for a walk to the pantry.

They also laugh at really lame jokes and make really lame jokes as well. Example:

A (Bahraini dude): talking….
B (Indian guy): Hey, your pen is leaking. (The Bahraini dude had a green ink pen clipped to his white shirt)
Your shirt is green… You’re a green man now! Hahahaha… (laughs heartily)

Again, that is exactly what happened.

How to tahan, I tell you! So annoying! Not like I want to listen to what they’re saying but they talk so loud that you can still hear them even after I’ve put on my ear phones and listening to music!

I’m really annoyed about my laptop screen. I won’t be able to get it repaired because next week is the CNY week and we’ve got a whole week off, meaning there’ll be no one to work on my laptop even though I’m back. So now, the only option appears for me to send back my laptop via my boss who’s going back to KL tomorrow and work here without a computed for the next 2 days before my flight back home. This is so they can work on the laptop on Wednesday morning and I can get it back on Friday when I land in KL. 2 whole days here without a laptop. I think I’ll go crazy. Either that or live with the crack for another month.

Good news is, 8th and 9th of Feb is a public holiday for Islamic countries. Meaning I might be able to convince my boss to let me go back later after the CNY break. So then, I will be able to repair my laptop the week after CNY. The problem with that is that I’ll have to change my flight ticket which is back home in Tropicana. I don’t know when is the latest we can change the date of my flight but will have to check and see. Will then formulate my strategies after finding out.

Damn. So troublesome.

And now I’m hungry. My tummy is growling like a rabid dog. Don’t care. Will crunch my cereal bar with them in the room.

Bahrain, oh, Bahrain

Here I am, back in Bahrain. Reached Bahrain on 14/1 and started work the next day. The flight here was tiring. Was sitting next to this kid who’s gotta be about 6 years old but was so fat. His arms were the same size as mine (maybe bigger)! And he had a cold, so he kept sniffing and coughing. Annoying! And halfway through the flight, he fell asleep and half of his body and his head was over on my side! Ish! In-flight food sucked. Caught Oliver Twist on the plane though. The show was alrite. Pretty slow and couldn’t really hear coz there were some people a few seats behind who were talking really loudly! Anyway, by the time I got settled in my apartment, it was already 11 pm (Bahrain time). I’d been travelling for the whole day. The apartment was okay. Except that it was missing a fridge! I was like “huh?” I mean, how can a fridge go missing? Anyway, they’ve put in one for me, so all is good.

Living alone is no fun. It’s only been my 3rd day here, but I’m already feeling the loneliness. Everyday, I go back to an empty apartment with no one to talk to. I just eat my dinner and plonk myself in front of the TV. Thank goodness for cable TV!

Took a taxi from the airport to the apartment. Stupid guy charged me 10BD! That’s equivalent to RM100! And the apartment is not that far. Maybe about the same distance from my office to Tropicana. Damn! Thank goodness there’s a receipt and I claim the amount. The guy had the cheek to ask for tips as well :p I made him carry my luggage into the building, though. Anyway, during the ride, the dude started talking to me. At first, it was just the usual stuff like where I’m from, have I been to Bahrain before, why am I here etc. Then came the weird questions. Shocker number 1. He asked if I was married. So I politely said ‘No’. Shocker number 2. He proceeded to ask if I had a boyfriend. So I said ‘Yes’. Shocker number 3. He asked if I loved him. Shocker number 4. He asked if I will marry him. At that point I was getting really freaked out and just wanted to get out of the car fast. Then he asked if I’ve gone sight-seeing in Bahrain. Immediately, I said ‘Yes!’ He named a few places but I said I’ve seen them all. He might just volunteer himself to bring me round!

Anyway, I basically can’t wait to go back home. This is really bad considering it’s only been 3 full days since I’ve been here. Will be going grocery shopping during the weekend to keep me occupied. Will start cooking dinner instead of ordering out everyday. It’s great that the restaurants here all have home delivery service. I go home, order some food, wait for it to come and gobble my food. That’s because by that time, my tummy would be growling massively and scolding me for not feeding it. I don’t eat lunch at the client’s office coz they don’t have a proper lunch hour so I usually just munch on a cereal bar. So I’m basically eating only one proper meal a day. Sounds sad, doesn’t it?

Looking at this secondment on a positive note, I suppose it’s a great experience to have, working in another country with a different mix of people. Being here has taught me quite a bit on the culture of the Middle East and how things don’t go as fast as you would like them to. Their idea of efficiency is not how fast you can finish the work (with quality of course) but the longer you take (ie the longer you stay) the better the quality of the work. Hence the need for me to be here. Honestly, the bulk of the work can be done back in KL. But they need to see someone here since they’re paying for consultants. And since they can afford to pay for us to be here, then that’s what we have to do. Oh well, all for the sake of filling up my CV and gaining international exposure.

Weird encounters in Bahrain:
1 Fridge missing from apartment
2 Freaky taxi driver

Hahaha...

It's a real laugh when you read our very own national journalists write about something so silly that you can just shake your head and laugh to yourself. When journalists write in a national tabloid equating anime to porn, you can't believe that these people are actually qualified journalists. Furthermore, when it's in the front page, you can't believe that the editor of the paper actually approved it. Where are the brains of these people? Even if you don't know what anime is, it doesn't take very long to do a simple check and read up on it. It's just so fucking unbelievable. I mean, what ever happened to journalistic integrity. Oh wait. That doesn't exist here. Journalists write whatever they want to write and don't bother about checking if the information is correct. This whole issue of that lebanese dude is another laugh. I seriously think the guy is just psychotic. Probably his brain tumour is causing some sort of psychosis. And for our major papers to print the story without verifying whether he really IS a billionaire, is for us to shake our heads and laugh again. Just because a dude says that he is worth so and so, and wants to donate X amount to a charitable organisation, he makes the papers? So, I can say I'm worth X amount and want to pledge Y amount to, say... WAO, I will suddenly be in the papers? C'mon... in today's world of technology, it's highly unbelievable that this dude (who claims he is the 2nd richest guy in the world!) can go undetected. Besides, if he really has controlling shares in companies around the world, that can be easily proven, right? Just give us the names of these companies, let us do a check and voila... no more disputes about your wealth. Or the easier thing would be, just hand over the dang money and everyone would just get off your back. What a laugh. And for the people involved to actually believe such a claim and pledge is even more of a laugh. Either that or it was just a slow news day and they needed something to print badly :)

On a more personal note, the new year crept in silently. For me at least. I will be flying off to Bahrain again this coming Saturday and this time, I will be all alone. Will be staying in a 1-bedroom apartment. Anyone who cares to visit is welcome to use my room. Will sleep on couch for company :) Thankfully, I will be back for CNY for a week then flying back again for the whole month of Feb. Dull, dull, dull. Being alone is no fun.

Went to LunaBar last Friday for our post new year department party. Fun night. Everyone just let their usual guards down and had fun. Some let more than their guards down. Seriously, there are some things you don't say and do with your colleagues and bosses. And talking about quickies, dildos, vibrators and orgasms is definitely in the list. Also, putting ice down your bosses shirts is NOT acceptable!! Jeebers! What in the world was she thinking? Hold on... i guess she wasn't thinking if not she wouldn't have done that in the first place! Anyway, here's a picture of us gals at Luna. More photos to come but not uploaded yet.



Don't we look cheerful and happy?







Anyway, am flying off this saturday, and I am only halfway through packing. Already my bag feels pretty heavy. Just hope it doesn't go overweight!

Anyone with any good entertainment for me to bring over, please contact me! Entertainment badly needed!

Ramblings of a person in pain...

My body is in pain right now. It’s probably asking my brain “What the heck were you thinking!?!?!” My arms hurt. My legs ache. A lot. I can’t stretch my arms out without cringing in pain. And being in the office isn’t helping coz I’m basically stuck in one position most of the time and whenever I move, the pain shoots through my body like there a thousand needles piercing my arms at the same time. My left arm is pretty alrite… I mean the pain is bearable. But my right arm is a killer. Even just touching it is painful. I have no idea what I did to warrant such pain. My legs or more specifically my thighs are another story altogether. It’s as if my body is competing in which part can be more painful just to make me suffer. AARGH! I wish I could be at home right now in my comfortable t-shirt and shorts with no shoes on and just lying still on my bed with my arms and legs stretched out straight so that at least my muscles are not cramping up. But no… I’m sitting in the office with almost everyone in the department missing (either in meetings or on leave). And it doesn’t help that I’ve got a dinner and drinks appointment tonight after work. Which means I won’t be able to get home until at least 10 pm. Which means another 8 hours or so of agony and pretending that I’m fine. I’ve even changed to flat sandals because I just couldn’t stand walking around in my heels today. Dammit! I seriously don’t know what I did to have such torture in my arms and legs. I mean, yes, I did push myself last night at the gym and perhaps I should have listened to the trainer when he told me to shower after 30 minutes on the machine instead of sneaking off to do a few crunches but still… such pain and agony!!! I’m just hoping the alcohol tonight will wear the pain off. Or at least take my mind of it. This sucks. Big time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such pain before. Or maybe it’s just that I’m getting older and as un-fit as the next couch potato. Shit.
Interesting revelation: I may be some kind of masochist deep down because even though it hurts to stretch out my arms and legs, I keep doing coz it feels good once I’ve got them fully stretched out.
Really. I’ve been stretching my right arm and legs so many times today, my colleagues must be thinking I’ve gone cuckoo.
I guess it’s justified putting myself through this pain. Oh the journey towards a fitter, healthier lifestyle. Seriously. I’ve been feeling so potato-ish lately, I’m beginning to look like one. At least this way, I know that I’m doing something about it. I’ve finally got off my ass and am doing something lar! Even if it means giving in to unheard of pain and never before felt agony in my limbs.
On a happier note, I’ll be going home tomorrow morning. Home, for 5 whole days! That’s the maximum I can take being at home J Anymore, and I just get so irritated with everything and I feel an uncontrollable urge to snap at everything and anything that approaches within 5 feet of me. So it’s good that I will be able to go home, be a good daughter and good friend and come back to KL leaving everyone happy back home and no one thinking ill of me. At least I hope not.
Attended my first Balai Rakyat meeting last Tuesday after workout. It was interesting. I’ve always been meaning to attend but somehow my sorry ass will always end up back home instead. So it was good that I followed Syl and Mohan to the meeting partly because we were doing a little cake thing for Annie’s birthday. I really like the idea of being able to do something about the political environment of our country instead of just sitting on my ass and just whining and complaining – like every other Malaysian. But I don’t like the secrecy of the whole thing and how we might get convicted if caught. Damn you! Anyway, I suppose it’s all about bringing change. Slowly but surely, hopefully. Anyway, now I’ve told myself that I will get more involved. Let’s just hope that my resolution hold for next year. As it is, I will be missing the next meeting as my sorry self will be in a little Middle Eastern country called Bahrain. Anyway, back to Balai Rakyat. My rants for my trip back to Bahrain can be picked up again later. The meeting was no different than a Voices meeting. Purely because the members who were there were ex-Voices members. I mean, I had fun and all… but I was thinking how difficult it would be if we were to bring in new people into the Balai. And that’s the whole point isn’t it? We really have to stop being so ‘us’. It’s great that we’re so in sync with each other that we understand the crap that we bull, but to an outsider, we’re just isolating him / her. So anyway, had a chat with another member last night, and we shall leave it till after the launching of the site to see how well the response is to the Balai.
Shit. I got up from my seat (an amazing feat considering how much my thighs hurt) and walked (another amazing accomplishment) to the toilet only to find that it’s being cleaned and I won’t be able to use it for another 10 minutes. Bloody hell! I don’t understand why they have to clean the damn thing so many times in one day. Yes, I appreciate (and I really do) clean and dry toilets but 4 times a day?!?!?! And they always occur when I have the urge to go. Question: why clean the toilet 4 times a day but never have enough tissue paper to wipe my hands? Why? Why? Why?
I’m just in a shitty mood. The office is practically empty, there’s no one to talk to and I don’t have much work to do. Fast forward to January. Nearly the same situation. Alone in the meeting room. No one to talk to. Relatively some work to do. Setting: Bahrain. Shit. I’m just feeling so crappy today.
Plus it doesn’t help when I’ve already booked my flight back to KL in anticipation that I will be able to spend some time with a certain someone as he was supposed to take leave and I find out that it’s an uncertainty. So I may be back in KL with nothing to do for 2 whole days. Might as well come back to work and carry forward my leave! Cis Bedebah! I hate it when things don’t work out as I’ve planned it. And I hate it when the reason why it doesn’t work is because of his work. Fuck the work lar! Why is there so much dependency on you? And why can’t you say no, I’ve got plans so I have to take the leave. Fuck all.
Exciting news of the week: Potential job in London for 6 months. Associate / Senior Associate required. Strategy job. Sounds perfect for me, doesn’t it? London baby, yeah!
Okay, so I’m counting my chicks before the eggs are hatched or whatever. But hey, I’m hoping I get put on that job. I mean, c’mon… I did a good job in Bahrain and you’ve obviously got confidence that I interact well with people… pick me, pick me! That’s exactly the feeling I have. Jumping up and down in my seat, one arm raised and shouting “Pick me! Pick me!” London baby, yeah!
I’m so full of crap today. Crappy limbs. Crappy office environment. Crap. All around.
Oh yeah, Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings, Happy New Year… blah blah blah…