Long way more

It's been nearly a whole year since I last blogged and I must say that I'm fairly disappointed with myself in not keeping to at least one stable thing in my life I could count on to always be there for me to rant and vent.
What can I say about the past year? I've been busy as a bee and the months just whooshed by.
Was reading my past posts and realised that I'm kinda back to square one just when I thought all was well. I was angry initially but after the past few days of worrying and crying and feeling like someone just ripped out my heart and stomped on it in front of me, as at end yesterday, I can safely say that I am strong enough to make the right decision and I am strong enough to get on with my life however it may turn out. And I'm glad that I've finally made myself let things go. I made myself not worry and fret but to accept things as they are and to just hope things which are not under my control will get better. But in the meantime, don't sweat it. The ball is now on the other side of the court and we both know what needs to be done if we still want to play this game together. So it's either we work towards reaching for the ball so it can come back to me or we both walk out from the court and perhaps find other players.
Work isn't exactly helping either. I'm swamped. And I feel burnt out. I'm frustrated and tired. A door opened for me and I made the decision not to step through it and to remain where I am now with hopes of prospects and raises hedged on one man only.
I can't wait for the new year to begin. That's because I'm so tired at this point right now that I'm hoping the new year will bring about something new for me.
I'm tired of worrying about work. I'm tired of feeling annoyed at my junior team members who don't seem to have a sense of accountability and responsibility and just lacks common sense. I'm tired of worrying about my relationship and where it's headed. I'm tired of working so hard in this relationship.
Work beckons again. Sigh.