It's so annoying reading the news from back home. Discussing religion is a 'sensitive' issue. Bumiputra rights are a 'sacred' issue. Sex is 'sensitive'. Jeebers. Bollocks.

And I hate it when people say, "Oh, it goes against our Eastern values" or 'Asian values'. What the heck is that anyway? Just because we're Asian, doesn't mean we're governed by these so called values and just clam up regarding issues which are deemed 'sensitive'. C'mon, we're in an era where information is so easily available, wouldn't it be easier to just address these issues instead of hiding behind 'values'?

I think I should just stop reading the news back home. Gets me riled up.

Temptation

Curiousity killed the cat. But satisfaction brought it back :)

I can't say I've been killed. But I am going to knock my head against the wall for being curious and for asking that question which has been in my head since I got offered a job here. We all knew the package would be good. But I never had real figures. Today I popped the question. And the numbers are dancing in front of my eyes. Everywhere I turn, those figures are just sashaying and parading in front of me, enticing me to grab at them. Temptation, temptation, temptation. Sigh. Sorely tempted to just grab those numbers and start living a whole new life. So what's stopping me?

Fear. Fear of starting a new life alone in a new place. Fear of not being able to keep up with the job demands. Fear of not being able to adapt to the life alone without my friends and family. Unfounded fears, I must say, but fear nonetheless.

So what if a high chance of getting promoted next year is there? I definitely won't be earning what they offered me here. But... (and there's always a but) the fear of starting anew is there. This is like being back in the past where major decisions I made were influenced by the people around me. I chose a university locally because my family would be near and my friends were also going there. I applied for my first job with my friends because I was afraid to let go of my university life. I think the only major decision I made which wasn't influenced at all was my decision to accept my current job. And I love my job. I love my workplace. I love my department colleagues and the bond I've forged with some of them. And now this.

Pros:

• MONEY!!! AMERICAN DOLLARS!!! More money I'll ever earn at my age.
• Great career opportunity.
• Challenging job.
• Experience of living as an expat.

Cons:

• Too challenging of a job. Work culture is very different here and things sometimes move at tortoise pace. And is very very frustrating.
• Termination. Apparently, employees can get terminated really easily here. Contract or no contract, if the big boss no like you, "You're Fired!"

Fears:

• Not enough strategic experience. Albeit I won't be heading the strategic department but I would be very much involved in the strategies and issues each project would individually face, not forgetting the parent company. At this stage in my career, I'm still receiving guidance from my fellow colleagues and being next in line after a Dept Head is pretty scary. However, the confident part of me tells me I can do it and will pull through and that I'm smart enough to handle anything that pops up. After all, I got into consulting with absolutely no experience and I'm doing alrite.
• Starting a new life alone in a strange place. Okay, so it's not exactly a strange place anymore but still, it's not Malaysia. It's not home. I won't go into food coz nothing beats food back home. I haven't had the experience of living abroad and I'm scared of living alone in a new place. Even though my family's back in Penang but it's only a short drive home and I can call them anytime I want and can go home anytime I want.
• My relationship. He's just got a new job. If he was still at his old place, then maybe I can get him a job here. I don't think it would be too difficult. Yes, I haven't spoken to him about it, but I don't know if he is as willing to move now that he will be doing something he likes. Also, there's no guarantee I can get a job for him here.
• My friends. I love my friends. And I don't know what I'd do without them. Yes yes... I'm sure I'll find new friends here but still... nothing like my sistas in KL and Penang.

So there. I've listed all down. At least thoughts that popped in my head when I got the numbers and the open offer. Although, now that I think about it, there may be something in the contract which forbids clients from poaching consultants. Hmm... I discussed this with another colleague who was also offered a position and we are both sorely tempted now that I've given him the actual figures. We've always joked about coming to work here since we've been here for so long but now that it can actually be a reality... we're both pretty stunned. And I know he's extremely tempted by the money. So am I. We've always joked about being able to afford an aston martin, a yacht, holidays in Nice if we worked here. And now with the figures in front of us, that's one step closer to turning our jokes into a reality. Well, maybe not the aston martin and the yacht but holidays in Nice, definitely.

What to do... what to do :) Oh well, until they find someone (other than trying to poach us, consultants) the position(s) is open. So anyone interested to work in the Middle East, do send me your CVs. I'll just take an ESS fee: 20% of your annual salary :)

Tinkling thoughts and things

I thought being in here would give me more time to reflect on things and write in my blog about what's going in the world today. But that doesn't seem to be the case. I seem to lost the 'will' to write. I've been pretty lazy the past week since I got here. Lazy not in the work sense. I'm still doing my work as I'm supposed to. But just being lazy. Lazy to cook my own dinner, so I order in even though I've already bought my groceries. Lazy to exercise. Lazy to go out. I've just been bumming around the apartment being a damn couch potato or surfing the net or playing my computer games. Also, my tummy's been acting really strangely. I've been visiting the toilet so many times that it's now my loyal companion here. I'm not having any pains or cramps. But I've just been running like crazy. And I have no idea why. Everytime I go to the toilet, there's stuff coming out. Sounds gross, but crapping is part of life so deal with it. I think I'm either still getting used to the food here or something I'm eating regularly could be doing this to me. Could it be the bran bread I eat for lunch everyday? Or maybe the bran cereal I take every morning for breakfast? I'm eating so much fibre, enough to last me for a lifetime I think. Anyhow, I suppose it's good for my system. Get rid of the excess crap I may have in my intestines.

My first weekend here passed uneventfully. Was invited for dinner by a Malaysian colleague who's on secondment here as the big boss was in town. Her apartment was huge! And she's living alone. I should have just accepted her offer to stay with her. But then again, she's not really on the same wave length so on second thoughts, living alone here is much better. So dinner over the weekend was taken care of. Had chinese food in this Hong Kong restaurant on Saturday night. It was actually quite decent. Can you believe it? Decent chinese food in Bahrain. Plus the servers were from China. The big boss was like "Oh, you can speak chinese to them and order for us!" And I was going "Crap crap crap..." since I obviously can't speak mandarin for nuts. And when the waitress spoke to me in her mandarin, the accent was so thick I could hardly understand her! As it is, I already have a hard time understanding Malaysian Mandarin. But anyhow, the food was ordered and it was pretty alright. Very saucy. Not so much Hong Kong style but more of South China, I think. But hey, I'm no expert on food.

Sayang's started his new job. Well, technically started anyway. He's on this camping trip with the workmates. Part of the programme. I started laughing when I found out he has to go for this trip. Going camping and being adventurous is the last thing he would do.

Urgh... I just read the news that some 100 year old man married a 22 year old woman. I don't know. Something about that just doesn't seem right. Call me conservative but what the heck would they do with each other? It's just disturbing...

Okay, back to work...although I'm now in the mood to strangle some people!