Sunday, October 30, 2005

The weekend passed I a blur. There were so many things happening that I could hardly keep track of it all. And there were so many events on the same day, that I had to choose which one to go for.

Work occupied most of the weekend. Finished the dang conference at 7 pm on Saturday, rushed home to bathe, chatted for a few minutes with the early birds at the party in the apartment, then rushed out again as had a dinner function. Ate like a pig, had some really good ice cream cake, wine and coffee then rushed back to join the rest of the people at the party. The apartment was a mess after the party but… all in good fun. Slept at 4 am and woke up the next morning at 9 for work. Crawled into the office at 10 and went back home at 2 and joined the rest for a banana leaf lunch. Caught a movie after that and finally went back home at 8 to clean the apartment. By the time everything was done, it was already 11. Fell asleep at 12 and woke up again at 7 to rush for the 2nd half of the conference. :p

Super packed weekend. Am looking forward to the holidays for a break. Am just going to laze at home, watch tv, read a few books. Sounds good.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Frustrated

Is it too much to ask if I just want at least a call or a text message? I know you're busy with work but it doesn't even take one minute to send a text message. Is that really too much to ask for?

And you do know that i'll be going back home for the holidays. And that i won't be here for the whole week. And you know that i definitely have to go for the dinner. And you know that i have to work this weekend too. Why do you always put your needs and comforts first? Why am i the one who's always making the effort to see you? I know you say that i don't have to and that you never asked me to do so but i'm doing it because i want to and to some extent, i would like it if you do it too. You know that we only have weekends to see each other since we work so different hours that even talking on the phone is hard. That's why the least you can do is text me. Like i do for you. At times like these, i feel that you're really selfish. you only do what's convenient for you. you only call when you're bored. you only text when you're bored. you'd only see me if you've got nothing else to do with your friends. you don't want to stay at my place coz it's not convenient for you. I know that's not all true but right now, it sure feels that way. you know how important our weekends are and right now, you're really not pulling your weight to make this thing work.

I'm upset. I knew if i spoke to you, i would get upset. and i am. you said you'll call me back. i'll see if you do.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Bleh...

The past few weeks have been a pain-in-the-ass. Everything I plan for just doesn't seem to come through. Will not elaborate as I feel too lazy to type it out but.... it's just been a real pain.

Work in general has been pretty alrite. But I'm still not sure if this is my line of work. I'm hoping with more time and experience, I'll be able to integrate myself further into this line as I truly am enjoying myself and am learning. I probably should read up a lot more and get myself started in looking for post-graduate programs.

My secondment to Bahrain is coming pretty soon. Will be going for about a week in November then for a whole month in January. Will be alone when I go in January. Feeling shit scared! Not only about being in a strange foreign country on my own but also because I'll actually have to do work for our client there and I'm really scared if I screw up. So from now till I leave, I will be reading up on stuff that is related to the project, memorising all the important ppl's names and whatever else that may help me. Anyone with information about Bahrain and / or Dubai do drop me an email. Am planning to go around if I have the money and time to spare.

The next few days are gonna be hectic. So many things on saturday that I don't know to go for which. Plus I'll be helping to facilitate a conference for our clients and will have to work on sunday as well to collate everything in time for the 2nd part on monday. Can't wait to have a break next week. Will be driving back home and this time at least, I'll get to stay for more than 1 night!

So many things to do, so little time... and the year is ending!!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Of Racial Tolerance

I watched an amazingly profound movie last night. It's called 'Crash' and touches on ethnic and racial issues in America. The movie is set in LA and the way the characters are developed is amazing. Each character has his/her own story and why they act the way they do. The stories of each character weave in and out of each other until finally they're all connected in one way or another.

The writing and the directing of this movie was done so well that you can't help but be so drawn into each story. Basically there are 2 cops - black and South American (who are also shagging each other), a District Attorney and his wife - both white, another pair of cops - both white (not shagging), a hi-fi TV director and his wife - both black, a locksmith - Latino and a shop owner - Persian. And they've all got their problems and issues to deal with.

The story opens with a car crash and cops around a highway where they're found a dead body. Then, flashback to 36 hours ago, and you're in a gun shop where a redneck American is selling a gun to a father-daughter pair who looks Middle Eastern. This couple is discussing about the gun in Arabic when the shop-keeper suddenly shouts at them and throws insults about them being Arabs and 9/11 etc. That's the whole tone of the movie. How people are so deep in their own perceptions and stereotypes of other races that it affects how they treat these other people.

My favourite storyline would be about the Latino locksmith and the Persian shop owner. It was so powerful and their final scene brought me to tears.

The movie showcases how dangerous stereotyping is. How your mindset can affect the way you treat others. Not only that, but how your circumstances also affect the way you act. For example, Matt Dillon's character, the police officer has a sick father who lost his job because of government policy to give it to the minority group which were the blacks. Then his father's health insurance has some kind of complications and when he goes to discuss with the person in charge, she's black and really bitchy. And so, because of this frustration, he pulls over a black couple and humiliates them. It's not that he really is a racist but just that his circumstances make the blacks look like the bad guys.

It's a really thought provoking show and I would encourage anyone to watch it.

Would love to write more but currently swamped with work and have lost the momentum :(



Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Post-Holiday Syndrome...

Just back from a short holiday in Phuket. And am now suffering from post-holiday depression :) Was really hard to get up and go for work the next day after returning.

Phuket was lovely. You would never know it was badly hit by the Tsunami. Practically everything was up and running and the bars and pubs were alive with girls and lady-boys. The weather was pretty alrite although it rained for a few minutes everyday. The beach was incredibly lovely. The sand was soft and fine and the sea was clear and calm. Perfect. The shopping was heavenly too. Loads of things to buy. Obviously I went over my budget and had to change more money.

The highlight of the trip was our venture into a gay bar where there were 20 plus Thai men wearing only white, tight underpants (with numbers attached) parading and dancing on stage. Choose the guy you like and request for their number and the guy will be yours to do whatever you want :) Interesting, huh? Most of the customers in bar were Matsy men and it was weird seeing them with a Thai guy or two in tow. We even saw one customer ask a guy to take off his pants and he started rubbing the guy's arse! Unfortunately, the guys on stage were not appealing at all. Some of them came down and sat next to me and tried to initiate conversation but it was so uncomfortable and I ignored them. Really freaked out when a guy sat next to me and started touching my leg! Was so uncomfortable but didn't want to frown at him or tell him off, so I just sat there and moved closer to my gal pals! Was so relieved when he finally got the hint that I didn't want his company and he left :) The waiter was extremely cute though. Reminded me of Jose :) And I think he took a fancy to me too coz he spent quite a bit time sitting down next to me and chatting with me. Plus, we were sitting at an angle so our legs were touching. And he touched me a few times as were 'chatting'. Also, he kept insisting that he wasn't gay (coz he was working in a gay bar) and actually dared me to 'test' him. Was nice knowing that he fancied me. At least he wasn't dodgy like the other guys who obviously expects payment and such. Even as we were leaving and the dodgy bar owner came to harrass us, cute waiter came up to me again and touched my hand and gave me this smile. I was pretty smitten by him. Plus his English was pretty alrite, at least good enough to carry a conversation and for me to understand what he was talking about. I'm now wondering if I would have done anything if I wasn't attached :) Probably not, knowing me. But then again... I just might have :)

The whole trip was pleasant enough. Am planning another trip there sometime next year. Anyone interested to join, feel free to come along.