Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Sick sick...

Home sick today. Damn bored. Anyone wanna come teman me?

Sunday, August 22, 2004

He's back!!! And the world suddenly seems so much brighter and better. :) I know, i know.. sounding real mushy and all but... (grins shyly).

Throughout the whole week, i was just thinking how to celebrate his return... being the hopeless romantic that i am (although i pretend to be macho), i was actually thinking it was going to be real romantic. As in, we'd both fly into each others' arms and hug and make sweet promises not to be apart again. But what REALLY happened was... I went out with Farr and P the whole day and he was with his uncle and cousin. We didn't even see each other until bout 12 am. And when we finally met, there were too many people around and i was feeling extremely shy. Too shy to even go hug him. Gotta give him credit though. He came to hug me first. :) Sweet of him coz i know he's like real shy when it comes to PDA. After that, we hung out with his friends. How romantic and private is that?!? But he was really sweet throughout the night. Paid attention to me; touched me whenever he could etc. Even when we finally came back home, all we wanted to do was cuddle and talk. :)

I really did miss him. Missed complaining to him; missed whining to him; missed bitching bout work to him; missed irritating him; missed him irritating me; missed him calling me 'mata sepek', babi, chipmunk, puppy; missed him telling me that i'm 'ugly'. And a whole lot of other things which i'm too lazy to document.

However, now that he's back, it's like he never left. Everything just fell back into place and is like how it was before. Our lives have centered around each other so much... being apart is weird. Scary. But nice at the same time. Scary because it makes me so much more open to hurt and shit. Nice because we're together.

On another note, was reading a friend's blog and she was blogging bout how her dude is falling back in the romance department. Like how during the start of their relationship, he would leave little notes for her etc. And now after half a year of being together, those small things that signify thought and care have just stopped. :) Typical isn't it? Not only for the guy but for the girl as well. All it takes is effort and of course thought. Just a simple message/note telling the person you care. Gotta remind myself to make that extra effort. But sometimes, you just feel that it's so useless coz you're never gonna get the same treatment back. But does that mean you shoulnd't do it then? I'm thinking back bout my past relationships and it's true that when you're so comfortable with each other, you just forget bout making things special. Going out is a norm. You take each other for granted. Sigh... Gotta admit, i'm guilty on those points.

Thanks a lot to ma sistas for the seafood dinner treat! I am extremely full now and feeling like a stuffed pig. Just gotta curl up now and hibernate like a python during winter.

Have an interview tomorrow morning. Or should i say in about 9 hours time. Hope all goes well!

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

'This too shall pass' - taken from Annie's blog.

Yes, i sincerely hope this shit i'm facing now will pass... and i hope it passes real quick.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

We went a little crazy last night and things got a bit out of hand. Was just a normal night of clubbing and drinking but then some people just didn't know their limits. One pucked in the club. Another three of my friends got into an accident. Thank goodness it wasn't their fault. And everyone's okay. Imagine the shock i felt when i woke up at 6am and saw a message on my phone from Maria telling me that they got into an accident. Shit. Another car hit them as they were making a turn or something like that. The front of the car is totally smashed. But thank goodness that all of them are okay. Just some bruises here and there from the impact. Audrey had to go for an Xray today just to check if her leg's alrite. Apparently the police came and had to tow the car away. Damn. Made me think of the many times i've driven home not entirely sober and have been in cars where the driver was not totally sober. But at least everyone is alright. I was actually supposed to follow that car home too. What if i had been in the car as well? Jeebers... don't even wanna think bout that.

I'm now sitting in my room thanking God once again for looking out for me.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. An unlucky day? Not for me it wasn't. I got a RM100 voucher for Hard Rock Cafe coz i was the most outstanding performer for my process for the month of July. Even though it's a bit lame and all, it's still nice to be acknowledged. :)

Plus he's finally discharged from the hospital. And his knee is getting better. He was damn depressed though when he was told that he wouldn't be able to play football anymore. At least not competitively. I know how much he loves playing and i feel really bad for him. But at least he's over it and is kind of okay now. Doing all the physio shit. I feel so helpless when he's in pain coz there's nothing i can do for him. He's back in Muar now anyway so there's nothing for me to do. Hope his knee is better when he comes back for his next appointment with the doctor.

Was chatting with an old friend and she was telling me how much she loves her boyfriend and how committed they are to each other etc. And i was thinking, do we really need so much commitment at our age? I mean, it's nice having someone to love and someone who loves you back but she was talking about marriage and settling down and shit. And seems that his parents are also talking about them settling down, getting jobs together, marriage etc. I was just speechless for a bit. I just can't see myself being so grounded. I mean, i'm only 23! It's also nice to dream and just talk bout marriage and shit but i don't actually see myself getting married anytime soon. Touch wood. It's a bit too soon, you know. I mean, just starting off on building a career. Just started living an adult's life. Being independent is cool. And i really like my life right now. I've got a great boyfriend. Great friends. An okay job. Financially okay as well. Really really can't imagine getting married at this age. Let's just analyse me at this point. I love him. He loves me. We enjoy being with each other. We don't mind seeing each other everyday after work. That's kind of like being married rite? Just without the commitments :) Perfect lifestlye. I can still turn and run the other direction if i want to. And the same goes for him as well. Why bother oneself with extra burdens? It's not easy being married. The compromises. The sacrifices. The extra commitments. But then again, some people have different opinions. And you're all entitled to it. And i wish everyone the best if you wanna get married early and have a family and all that. As for me, i like my life now and i think i'll just enjoy it while i can.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Dammit. Woke up early this morning only to find that I still couldn't go to the hospital. His mother was there. So that's like definitely a No No for me to be there as well. Shy :) So i still haven't seen him yet ever since i sent him there on Tuesday. Shit. I know that the last few posts have all been about him but what the heck. I'm worried and i need to see him badly. Luckily his parents have gone back home to Muar and so he's all mine now. First thing tomorrow morning, rushing over to SJMC.

Four more have resigned. Last day is this friday for one of em. Will be going out for dinner then a thanni session with the whole team on saturday. I was pretty depressed when i found out so many ppl resigned. Plus the fact that they all came in after I did. The pressure to leave at that time when i was depressed was just so strong. But had a long talk with my manager and my future's pretty bright right now in the company. So just gonna wait for the next opportunity. Im pretty sure it'd be mine the next time round. I'm already doing so many things, i'm practically swamped with work. No free time for me. Thank goodness we can't bring work back.

I wanna go on writing but my eyes are closing... my fingers are slowing down... my head is drooping... good night all.... ZZzzz...

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I've never had anyone close to me go for an operation before. So this is my first time going through the whole process.

Woke up at 6 this morning (more like yesterday morning) to prepare breakfast for him coz he had to eat before 7. Unfortunately, i couldn't even open my eyes so he did everything for himself. That was a big disappointment :) Left the apartment at 9 and reached SJMC at 9.45. Good time eh? Went through the whole procedure of being admitted etc and he finally settled in his room at 10.30. Left him at around 11 coz his mum was coming and had lunch with his uncle.

Went to work with a heavy heart and a head filled with thoughts of him. Ish. And now after work i can't even go see him coz visiting hours are over and they won't let us in.

At least the operation's over. And he's feeling alright. Hope his ligament thingy didn't tear. Will be waking up at 9 tomorrow morning. Gotta rush over to the hospital.

Monday, August 09, 2004

It's now August and i'm still doing the same thing as i was last year. I will once again be celebrating my birthday in the same company in the same position. Sounds sad doesn't it? However, i've come to a point where i realise money isn't everything. I'm not living in poverty. I still have my health. I like my job most of the time. I like the lifestyle that i have. I like my friends. I have a cool family. I have a great boyfriend. What more can i ask for? I am now going to take things one at a time. And i shall not fret over petty things.

On another note, he's lying in the hospital right now waiting for his knee operation. Wish i could be there with him but certain external factors are stopping me. For example, his mother being there as well :) Praying that the op will go smoothly, his ligament isn't torn and that everything will be fine. Get well soon, honey. I'll see you tonight after work.